


Ozone

by steamed_ham



Category: Bleach
Genre: Drama, F/M, Post-Canon, Romance, TYBW, Unrequited Love, pinning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:02:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23379550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steamed_ham/pseuds/steamed_ham
Summary: “You were a good guy weren’t you..?”“Nah. Never was, never will be. But ya make me wanna be one.”GinRan post TYBW and more.
Relationships: Ichimaru Gin/Matsumoto Rangiku
Comments: 8
Kudos: 33





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> Introduction chapter.

**The Winter War**

Gin. 

A thousand questions raced through her mind as she hovered over his dying mutilated body. Tears streamed down her cheeks, the fat and ugly ones, as she struggle to face reality. Gin was dying. 

It was always like this. He would leave her, and she would chase him. When they were younger, then only in her dreams. What they both held in common was that he never really come back, just like now. She remembers that day, that night she and Izuru went drinking, they drunk until they couldn’t feel their legs. They said they didn’t need him. That was bullshit. She saw the after effects it had on Izuru, but she didn’t pry. Nobody did. The effects on herself? Well, the thing was she knew that he was alive. 

Frantically she thought of what she could do. Izuru healed her but he was out of commission now no thanks to Aizen himself. Captain Unohana, as well as Orihime were still in Hueco Mundo. Hanataro? Who the hell knew where he was or anyone else for that matter. Which left nobody. Rangiku was no healer, even if she could, she realized that she would have to eventually face the consequences that came along with saving Gin. He was a traitor after all. Even so, she wanted him alive, with her because she couldn’t help but love him still. Perhaps it was how Momo felt for Aizen- 

No, what was she thinking? 

Gin wasn’t going to make it no less was he in any condition to talk. But she was selfish, she wanted to hear his last words, his voice. Anything, anything at all. Maybe she should have asked him what she really meant up on the roof, when he wasn’t dying. Though she knew he wouldn’t have given her a straight answer anyways under such pressure. Had he really tried to kill Aizen himself? She wanted to know why, but there were a million ‘whys’. Why did he betray everyone, her, just to end up dead. 

Ichigo who had arrived to the scene shortly before her took stance getting some solid blows in against Aizen, and in seconds grabbed him by the face, where they both disappeared leaving the dust to part in their wake. Their disappearance calmed her immensely, she felt both their spiritual pressures moving far from the current wreckage where Gin lay.

Ichigo. She hoped for everyone’s sake that he would be the one to hopefully put an end to Aizen’s influence of terror. No, she knew he would. Everyone believed in him, even the head captain, both captains and lieutenants alike risked their lives to protect Ichigo from seeing Aizen’s release. It would be over soon, it had to be.

With shaky breaths she focused her attention back to Gin. His beautiful eyes were closed and his hair, which once held glossy flare, was now dull and matted to his forehead. She brushed it aside and ghosted her hand across his face then down to his neck where she then grasped the front of his uniform pathetically. She was pathetic. 

Rangiku broke down again feeling the warmth of tears come back to her, though she didn’t bother to stop them. 

“Gin...” 

Her throat felt tight and dry, like something was constricted around her neck, making her unable to speak. But if she were able to, she didn’t think she could find it in herself to say anything more than that. So she settled down against his side laying her head gently on his chest while he took his last breathes. At least she could say that she spent their last moment together, and that’s all she needed. 

About fifteen miserable minutes later, the feeling of hopelessness set in as Rangiku felt his breathing stop entirely. It took her minutes to finally get up, wiping the leftover dampness from her cheeks knowing that she probably looked like shit, well everyone else undoubtedly did too.. but at least they haven’t been crying their eyes out. She a few more minutes to take some more deep breathes attempting to make herself not look like she just had a mental breakdown. It would be fine she told herself. Everything would be fine. 

Tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear she set off back to the captains and lieutenants who probably needed her more. But not without one last glance back to a now lifeless Gin, promising she would return to give him a burial somewhere, at least, if it was allowed.

Mayuri had told the other captains to go to Karakura Town without him, he had some very important samples to take after all, which is why he arrived late. Well, he hoped to take some, if there were any ‘leftovers’. 

It was safe to assume that the Kurosaki boy finished it, since the town was only partially decimated. Both he and Nemu walked building after building which were either crumbled to the ground or half missing. What a shame. Before his return to the Soul Society, Mayuri wanted to do a quick sweep of the resultant fighting. Were anymore of the arrancar leftover in the wreckage? The thrill of excitement coursed through his veins, it would be his lucky day if he found more. 

Nemu, who carried four ‘dead’ bodies, three Arrancar and one Espada was lagging more than a few steps behind him. Annoying girl! 

“Nemu! Keep up you useless sow!” 

He beckoned her forward with one hand. 

“And don’t drop any of the samples!”

“Yes, Mayuri-sama.” She responded monotonous, adjusting her hold on the bodies and shifting their weight allowing her to move more quickly.

“Hmph.”

It would do no good if his samples were to be damaged. His plan was to resurrect them then proceed to run tests on them and afterwards, if they proved useful perhaps he would keep them. 

As they walk through the aftermath of the battle Mayuri couldn’t suppress his sigh of disappointment. There was nothing or anybody left. He’d gotten his hopes up for nothing. Alas it was not a complete loss, as he reminded himself he had already collected some bodies. 

“Mayuri-sama,”

“What is it Nemu?”

“Over there.” As she had no free hand to point where exactly ‘there’ was she began to walk over to her finding. 

“I see, stay there will you.” He replied holding a up for her to stop. Maybe he would find something after all. He approached an area of more complete wreckage with sharp jagged pieces of concrete jutting out from odd angles of the ground. But there, slightly propped up against a slab of cement was a familiar face. One of the traitors, Ichimaru, and he was dead by the looks of it. The first thought that came to Mayuri was that he should bring him along with his samples because he had never really done any real experiments on soul reapers before. In special cases he would offer assistance to the fourth with his genius expertise which involved harmless testing but that was it. Besides he was a traitor, nobody cared about him, and he was dead. Useless to everyone else but perhaps not to him, a scientist had a use for everything. He would find something to do with this one even the body was already dead. It was settled he would be taking the corpse of Gin Ichimaru with him. 

“Nemu!” He called.

Obedient, Nemu made her way to her masters side with surprising haste. She learned quickly after all. 

“Yes Mayuri-sama?”

“Hmm...” He realized the Nemu wouldn’t be able to carry another, meaning he would have to get his hands a little dirty.

“Never mind. Just prepare to open the Senkaimon, we’ll be leaving now.” Mayuri bent down to hoist the body up and over his shoulder, his new subject was missing an arm.. Not that it matter anyhow. He would be unable to start conducting he research immediately anyways as all 13 Squads were on shaky ground recovering from the war. Meaning he would be needed in assistance leaving him little time for himself. 

He would not let getting stalled bother him too much though, after all he had all the time in the word after that to invest in his research. Just the though brought excitement to his bones.

Well, the faster they got back, the faster they would be able to help the other squads on their road to recovery. Together, Captain and Lieutenant Kurotsuchi entered the Senkaimon and returned to the Soul Society.


	2. field day

**The Quincy War**

Mayuri was giddy with glee. The minute the girl showed up, he knew something promising would happen. Something he would benefit from, of course. And he was proven to be right when she brought out her zombies. At the expense of the lives of the poor soul reapers whom she controlled, he finally would be able to put his experiments to use. 

“I’ll leave this matter to the Arrancar.”

Charlotte, Luppi, Circucci, and Dordoni the preciously deceased Arrancar, appeared rather valiantly above Mayuri on a leveled off building ready to join the battle.

Recognition crossed bystanders Ikakku and Yumichika’s mind watching from the sidelines. Both recalled those were some of the same Arrancar who were once their opponents. They were killed, yet somehow were here and alive as ever. The hideous stitching which ran uneven and jagged across each of their bodies did not slip Yumichika’s keen eye. So not beautiful. He was about to voice his thoughts on the matter but was interrupted by a ghostly familiar voice. 

“Ah... hello? Seems ya forgotten someone...” A fifth voice called out from behind the Arrancar. 

To Ikakku and Yumichika’s horror Gin Ichimaru, the infamous traitor, made his presence known. Both men looked at each other simultaneously and shared a look of disbelief. His physical appearance remained the same as when he was a captain, no stitchings were visible either leaving Yumichika to conclude that his body hadn’t suffered mutilation in death unlike the Arrancar. The only thing different was that he now wore a plain white Shihakusho instead of the tradition black. The ex-captain didn’t particularly look like a soul reaper at the moment. Figures he wouldn’t want to rebrand himself as one again, nor should he be allowed to. 

Threatening and creepy smile forever glued to his face, Gin took position to the side of Captain Kurotsuchi. He seemed to know the effect he had on Ikakku and Yumichika, because he purposely made ‘eye’ contact with them. While they were already on the ground, his shifty eyes only seemed to pin them to the spot, his smile increasing tenfold.

He was supposed to be dead. Of course there were baseless rumors but no one actually knew how he’d died. The reason was because he had been alive all along. The Arrancar showing up wasn’t a huge surprise but this? This was criminal. 

Did anyone ever stay dead? 

“Look at his neck.” 

Yumichika noticed a very thin metal band around the traitors neck which resembled a dog collar. He allowed himself to calm down when he realized that alike the Arrancar, Ichimaru was also one of the captains subjects. It was reassuring to say at the least, after all Captain Kurotsuchi was the one who created Aizen’s restraints. 

Circucci flexed her whip irritably, “Shut up! He said ‘Arrancar’. Not ‘Arrancar and traitor’. Who even invited you?” She surely despised the idea that she and the rest of the Arrancar were under the control of the deranged scientist who also happened to killed Szayelaporro but at the moment she hated it almost equally that her spotlight was stolen. Especially by the likes of Ichimaru. Like a snake his entire person creeped her out and never failed to give her a false sense of paranoia whenever he was around.

“Aw, you guys are so mean to little ol me. What have I ever done to ya?” 

Circucci Sneered. “Well, for starters-"

“Silence you lot! Stop messing around or else I’ll lock you all back up!” This was a complete embarrassment. Mayuri almost began to regret bringing them along.

“And you,” He turned to Gin, “It’s not your turn yet, don’t get ahead of yourself.” 

“C’mon cap’ let me in on some the action.” He began to inch forwards hoping for the go. 

At this point Mayuri had enough of the back and forth banter that continued on. He pulled out a detonator from his sleeve and pressed the button. Causing the Arrancar to suddenly wither in pain. Gin watched the scene from below unable to hide his amusement waiting for one of them to realize that he was the only one unaffected from the shock. 

“My, that’s gotta hurt!” Gin feigned his own pain mocking the others through their angered protests. 

“I haven’t been able to speak a word so far!”

“I knew we couldn’t trust him!”

“He’s trying to kill us again!”

Mayuri rolled his eyes at their dramatic little speel and fiddled with the detonator in his hand. “Oh relax, you’re all physically fine. This device merely sends an electric shock to your brains to make you feel pain, I’m surprised you can still speak.” 

They didn’t notice Gin who was perfectly fine and the scientist didn’t bother to explain his situation. 

_..._

_Gin wasn’t counting the days, but it had to have been three weeks at the least since he had been brought back to the living by Kurotsuchi. As soon as he took his first breath a tracker strapped around his neck along with a verbal warning._

_"Don’t go sticking your nose into anything that could cause me trouble and if you value your life, which happens to be in my hands, don’t step a foot outside the labs.”_

_Gin was given his life and his freedom back only to have it taken right back but at the same time he wouldn’t have known what to do with it anyways. There was nothing left for him here and the one person who he thought of as he opened his eyes again had been unattainable even when he was alive._

_The scientist didn’t seem to expect any words of gratitude out of him as he left. His ambiguous threat still floated in the air._

_He wasn’t._

_Resentment was a common emotion that came to threaten him every now and then. At times it felt like he was back in Hueco Mundo. Forever confined to the walls. The Arrancar were his only company since they were resurrection pals and all. They didn’t like him, which was understandable. Most days were spent either thoughtlessly wandering around the large labs or observing the squad members work diligently on sciences unknown to him, though he didn’t dare to bother any of them careful not to set off the wrath of their Captain which was mostly for his own sake. A few times he attempted to strike up a friendly conversation with Nemu who could be entertaining at times but that was mostly when he pried her about her about SWA meetings which she would tonelessly rehash the events to him. It was the only time he’d hear about Rangiku so he took advantage of it that. Nemu was smart though, he asked once about her in a bit of a round about way and the girl filled him on everything she knew. Their interactions were scarce though, rarely was a time when she was without her captain, they were practically glued to the hip. When Kurotsuchi wasn’t around to ruin the fun he still made an effort to mess around with the Arrancar as he used to back in the days but that was only the first week._

_The days went by and he grew bored and restless, the Arrancar were starting to grate on his nerves a bit more than usual. He sympathized with Kurotsuchi but only a little, he was the one who brought them back. Sometimes he wondered about Izuru and how he was doing, hopefully the workaholic wasn’t too bored without him, which theoretically speaking, was impossible since he would be doing double the paperwork. Then again Gin never did much of it anyways. Poor little Izuru. Thinking about his old lieutenant brought a short lived grin to his face until he started wondered about Rangiku. He heard bits and pieces of her from Nemu, still drinking with friends and still being lazy. Did she still think about him? Or had she forgotten about him already, it pained him to admit but he thought it would be better if she did. That didn’t matter though because he just wanted her to be happy if he was in her memory or not. Still, he wished things could have been different._

_One day he got curious. He lay on his worn bed mat toying with his tracker. Almost as thin as wire and just as plain Gin knew better than to underestimate its use but wondered what it could really do._

_In no time Gin found himself standing in front of the door which led outside the lab. An exit. There would be a consequence he knew and undoubtedly an unbearable amount of pain to go through but this would be the most activity to happen since his death. He reached a hand to the handle, he really was daring this time. He wanted something to happen, it did. The second his foot crossed the frame the tracker around Gin’s neck suddenly started searing his neck. He grasped at it but quickly withdrew, it felt as if he had been burnt down to the bone of his fingers. He was too shell shocked to manage even a grunt. The hot lacerating pain lasted only a few seconds but it fucking hurt, even managed to knock the signature smirk off his face momentarily. It was times like this, Gin wished he could have made it into Kurotsuchi’s good graces. Perhaps he could have gotten away with just a simple shock like the Arrancar. He grit his teeth willfully through the pain and stumbled right back into the building. The door slammed shut in front of him._

_”How do you like my invention?”_

_Due to his preoccupation. Gin hardly noticed Mayuri arrive who had been alerted of his attempted ‘escape’. The scientist stood above him observing his tracker which succeeded in preventing Gin from leaving the building. He must have wanted a response, Mayuri withdrew a small device from his sleeve and pressed a button relieving his silver haired subject from his suffering._

_”Would ya be offended if I said that I don’t?” It took a few deep breathes for Gin to somewhat compose himself and formulate a response._

_”Hmph.” Mayuri crossed his arms. “Well then, tell me just what exactly you were trying to pull? I’m a busy man and don’t have time for your games.”_

_”Guess ya got me. Curiously did kill the cat.”_

_”Go on then, if you’re still curious about the full capabilities of my tracker walk a few steps further outside that door and you’ll find out what exactly it can do.”_

_Gin attempted to alleviate the now fading pain in his neck, twisting the tracker hoping to get some air around it. “Naw, thanks but I don’t think I will. I gotta say though, don’t ya think that was a bit overkill? Unless that’s what ya were goin’ for?”_

_Mayuri showed him a miniature purple gauge on the device. “It was only halfway on the settings, still, it was not my intent to have you killed. It would be a pain to have to clean up another body. Now, I take it you’ve learned your lesson?”_

_Another body? Just another normal day in the twelfth._

_.._

The Arrancar were able to maintain speech through the shock pleasantly surprising the mad scientist. “You came out more robust than I thought. That makes it all the more worth stealing from Szayelaporro’s storage room.” Yes, he would definitely be keeping them. 

“Szayelaporro huh?” Gin commented thoughtfully, “How sly, he must have collected the bodies without me knowing’.”

“Sounds like you should have kept a better watch on your subordinates Ichimaru.”

“Eh.” Not that Gin actually cared what Szayelaporro did, he was an interesting guy for sure. It was mostly that he spent most of his time in Hueco Mundo in the camera room, it was a unusual that such a particular event slipped his eye. 

The next phase of the battle appeared to be at large when the zombie girl said something, Gin didn’t know what, because he wasn’t really paying attention but next thing he knew Mayuri’s Arrancar flew at the zombified soul reapers, picking them off at a decent rate. Admittedly it was a smart move on Kurotsuchi’s part, making the Arrancar slaughter the ‘soul reapers’ instead of disposing them himself and dirtying his own hands with blood of his own, even if they were zombies. 

Those two from the eleventh blubbered from the sidelines. What were their names again? Gin knew who they were, when he and Yachiru got together to plan pranks she would tell him all about them, and how apparently stupid they were. She never used their real names. Did she even know them? For obvious reasons they were just ‘baldy’ and ‘feathers’. Gin thought they were fitting enough so he never asked. But apparently a few of the soul reapers who were being currently being massacred by the Arrancar were apart of their squad. A real shame. It looked like there would be a few less savages in the soul society, ah well. 

Gin watched the skirmish silently with minor interest alongside Nemu silently showed up just as things started to get interesting. Slowly the hoard of zombified soul reapers dwindled down to none. It all seemed a little to easy to Gin. He was sure the scientist expected more of a challenge, he did as well, since he had done absolutely nothing so far. 

What happened next peaked both captain, and ex-captain’s interest. Zombie girl called out and a zombified Hitsugaya showed up. Obviously this was a last resort move, and to say he looked a little worse for wear would be an understatement. Gin swallowed a snicker, taking in the young captain’s rather sullied appearance. The boy really did look terrible. Due to the zombification, the skin, wrinkled as a dried permission, took on an unnatural dark brown-ish red tint. His eyes which looked just as dead as the rest of him, were completely bloodshot. Gin could barely make out the whites of his eyes, if there were any left. And his eye bags! They really added to the dead kind of effect, looking like he hadn’t slept in a century. Poor kid. Hopefully Kurotsuchi would do something about him and save his poor eyes from the sight. Baldy and feathers seemed to agree. They sure were talkative, considering they were both incapacitated at the moment.

Mayuri was muttering to himself again. “This is bad..” 

His words were reinforced as Feathers attempted a kido against Hitsugaya, only to be stopped by baldy, and then cut down in seconds by said captain. At least one of them had some sense, not that it had helped them much. They were a funny pair. 

Gin realized being at the scene wasn’t too bad. He was learning some valuable information. It was revealed that Hitsugaya was turned before he died, which explained how he was able to maintain his captain level fighting skills despite being a corpse. Those turned before death would have better conditioned cells, making them easier to control as well. 

Charlotte who had successfully took out Bambietta was ready for more of a challenge. Unfortunately his small victory over seemed to have gone to his head. That was never a good sign. The flamboyant Arrancar went in to take on the zombified captain next which was a mistake. He really was naive if he thought he would be an equally matched opponent for a captain. The power difference in power was incomparable. As a result he too was cut down but not killed thanks to Mayuri, who quickly erected a reiatsu barrier blocking further onslaught to his now indisposed test subject. 

“Idiot. How could you not see that he was an opponent you couldn’t beat with your powers. As punishment I’ll leave you to bleed yourself dry.” 

Charlotte could only gurgle in reply.

The scientist brought down his barrier and turned back to the corpse who awaited for battle, then continued to monologue earning absolutely no response from the other. Talk about a one sided conversation Gin thought. 

Things escalated quickly after that. Mayuri provoked the corpse into attacking him where they traded blows against each other, both captains even went into Bankai. Unbeknownst to Hitsugaya, Mayuri managed to inject the drug into him sometime during their battle. It would only be a matter of time before the drug would kick in. 

As the captain of the twelfth went into another full monologue about his drug and how it affected the hippocampus, Gin pondered on how the man managed to put up decent fight in whatever that gaudy outfit was. Throughout the decades Gin had witnessed the scientist go through multiple ‘costumes’ and this was by far the most unconventional looking. It started out with the head garb, now it was at a full body suit which attempted to resemble a star. It even lit up. Guess he couldn’t blame the guy for wanting to be the most stylish captain in the Seireitei, he was already the creepiest. 

By the looks of it, Kurotsuchi was about to test yet another drug. He was crouched down beside the body of the tenths captain injecting a new substance into Hitsugaya’s neck causing the boy to howl in pure agony. 

Even though Nemu was a spawn of Mayuri, meaning she had probably heard and witnessed multiple atrocities on a daily basis. Gin took it upon himself and covered the lieutenants poor ears besides him. 

“What are you doing?” She asked, removing his hands from her. 

“A pure girl like ya, don’t wanna hear that kinda stuff.” 

“I’ve heard worse.” 

He left it at that. 

Hitsugaya’s bloodcurdling screams continued to resonate throughout the Seireitei which only seemed to attract more unwanted attention. More zombies. The light padding of feet landing could be heard from behind as they were joined by three newcomers. Gin turned, curious to see who was next. 

Now these were some familiar faces he hadn’t seen in a while. Standing before them were two more undead and previously exiled captains, Kensei Muguruma and Rojuro Otorobashi. Next to them, was Rangiku. He was wondering where she was and if she was ever going to show up. He had anticipated her to arrive alongside her captain, zombie and all. 

Looking at her now made him realize, she had died too then. Gin clenched his jaw. He was disappointed that this was the way they’d see eachother for the first time since he died. Him being the only one present in this reunion since she had no conscious. 

Her zombified appearance mirrored the other captains, bloodshot eyes, dark wrinkly skin, and a pair of nasty looking eye bags. Overlooking her zombified traits he noticed that she had cut her hair. Several inches shorter than he’d last saw, it now lay above her shoulders reminding him of their childhood days. It was the same length and style as it was back then. Gin liked it. He wanted to tell her too, but standing before him now was only a shell of herself.

The zombies began to advance on Mayuri who was still assessing the drug effects. The boys screams seemed to act as a beacon for the zombies, they were drawn to the call from their own. Mayuri paused, breaking his focus from Hitsugaya, who’s screams were only starting to die down. 

“You’re in the way of my observations.” He muttered. 

“Deal with them. Quickly and swiftly, won’t you?”

On cue the Arrancar sprang into action again. This time there were no objections from the scientist when Gin joined them. Still capable to hold down a fight, once being a captain, he was faster than the Arrancar and made a beeline to one zombie in particular. Rangiku would be his opponent. Thankfully he knew he wouldn’t have to kill her which made it easier for Gin. Kurotsuchi wanted them immobilized so he could use the same drug on that he did on Hitsugaya. 

It was a strange feeling to be out on the battlefield again, and alive for that matter. There was a certain thrill he was sure that came to everyone, bravely facing your opponent, being a hero. Something like that. He was neither. It’s always been like that but the adrenaline that flooded his body gave him a sort of heroic feeling. He was going help Rangiku after all. 

He decided to test the waters and get a feel for what he was dealing with. He wasn’t out for the kill, but it would be ignorant to underestimate her. Gin lunged at her with Shinso taking a few lazy swipes aimed at her collar. He wasn’t surprising when Rangiku was able to block his attacks successfully. Luckily he was just warming up. 

Being stored away in Mayuri’s lab and doing inherently nothing, Gin could feel the disconnect within himself as he fought. His movements felt heavy, like he had to put more effort than necessary to simply parry and make a follow up attack. He suspected that Mayuri did something to him during his resurrection process it wouldn’t be below him. Maybe he was just out of touch, it had been two years, then again that was nothing for a soul reaper. Gin realized he was thinking into it too much when he remembered the tracker around his neck, weightless, he forgot it was even there. He would rather not remember the feeling when he purposely triggered it by stepping foot from the lab, but if it held those capabilities then there was a possibility it suppressing his reiatsu as well. No matter, it wouldn’t affect the outcome of the fight. 

It wasn’t his best work but he managed to gain the upper hand against Rangiku. First disarming Haineko from her, then swiftly knocking her upside the head rendering her unconscious. It looked like things were winding down with the others as well. The Arrancar were looking pretty beat at this point, even though they outnumbered their opponents they were still no match for the captains. Gin was surprised they were still alive even. Muguruma and Otorobashi were currently on the defense being cornered by the four when they suddenly started twitching abnormally and a few moments later collapsed. 

Mayuri, looking very pleased on how things turned out, explained how he put drugs to the Arrancars bodily fluids.

Well that made sense on how they were able to ‘defeat’ Muguruma and Otorobashi. The ex-captain briefly wondered, again, if the scientist implemented anything of the sort within him. Hopefully not. 

The twelfths captain beckoned the Arrancar over, ordering them to bring the bodies over. Gin followed suit, hoisting an unconscious zombified Rangiku up and over his shoulder moving to join Mayuri and the others where the scientist requested only the captains. He supposed Rangiku wasn’t needed for what was planned, which was fine with him since it was unsettling to see his childhood friend up and about in such a state. Gin lay her body next to her captains.

Since zombie girl was still watching, most likely hoping the fight would turn back in her favor, Mayuri went on to explain how he had obtained blood samples of all the captains and lieutenants and by mixing it with a substitute of his own it would enable him to turn her zombies into his own. The scientist injected both zombies with said drug as he ended his explanation. Within moments Muguruma and Otorobashi rose from the ground. They were still zombies but now they belonged to Mayuri. A satisfied smirk formed on the the scientists face, the fact that he now controlled her zombies seemed to have left her in a rather disoriented state leaving her wide open. 

“You lose zombie girl.”

In the blink of an eye Kensei was in front of her. He stabbed her clean through her chest and that was that.

“Well. That was interesting.” Mayuri commented. His work was far from done however. He approached Gin and handed him another dose of the drug he used to create his own zombies giving complete instructions on what he wanted the silver haired man to do. 

“Inject the Lieutenant Matsumoto with this drug, as you’ve witnessed, it will override her current bloodstream with my own concoction leaving her to my command and neutral to you. Take her and the captain back to the squad twelve temporary lab. and place them both in the restoration capsules. It will take some time but they will eventually return to their normal selves.”

Luppi opened his mouth intending to ask what they were supposed to do but Mayuri beat him to it. “You all go with him and protect the capsules.” The Arrancars grumbled in unison with countless complaints about how they were being sent away so soon but barely got to do anything. The scientist was quick to silence them, stating that he had places to be but not without assuring them that they’d done enough. 

“Nemu, with me.” 

“Yes. Mayuri-sama.”

With that, the scientist headed off into what would most likely be another battle, Nemu and his own newly possessed zombies in tow.


	3. to rest

**Post WW**

The Winter War was over. A week had passed since the since then and Rangiku had been in the fourth recovering since then. Today was the day she would be discharged.

That battle with the three Arrancar was rough. Their strengths were definitely on par with her own and replaying the exchange between them made her realize that perhaps there should have been less slacking and more training on her part.

She hadn’t even achieved bankai yet.

Rangiku ran a hand along her bandaged midsection. Compared to a week ago the pain had been reduced down to an almost nonexistent throbbing. She had known better than to underestimate her opponent but when they combined their power to create Ayon... its speed was something she never would have expected from a creature of that size. A chunk of her abdomen was quite literally ripped out from her. The wind once cool and inviting against her skin in the heat of battle suddenly turned scathing and tore into her open flesh as she fell from the sky. And then she nearly died, not just her but the other lieutenants too, forcing the head captain to step up. No doubt the old man felt they were a disgrace to the Gotei 13.

Should such a threat ever arise against the soul Society again, she needed to be prepared. Rangiku swore it to herself as she lay there gazing up at the blank ceiling, to work her ass off and get stronger. Maybe even reach bankai. Only then would she feel worthy of her title as a ‘lieutenant’ again.

It was near noon. Isane would be expected around this time to give her leave permission. The tall woman seemed to have a designated visiting time, showing up nearly the same time everyday. Isane, ever so kind, would grace Rangiku with small conversations, tid-bits of news, and updates regarding the other captains and lieutenants recovery. She didn’t have to but she did and Rangiku appreciated it, thankful to have a caring friend. Their small talks were truly a blessing because it gave her something to focus her mind on.

Secluded within the barren walls of the recovery room with herself being the only occupant and nothing but her own somber thoughts, Rangiku thought she was starting to feel like Kira these days.

It was lonely and far too quiet.

Rangiku wondered how everyone else was doing. Her captain, Shūhei, Izuru, Momo... They all had suffered serious physical and mental trauma. Some more than others. Hopefully they were recovering well. She made it a promise to visit them all as soon as she got out.

A light spiritual pressure flickered alerting Rangiku that her friend was about to enter the zoom. Not wanting to be rude, the woman sat up anticipating to greet her.

“How are you today Rangiku-san?” The short haired woman asked, joined her busty friend taking a seat on the visitors chair beside the bed.

“Definitely a lot better than the first day that’s for sure.”

“That’s great!” Isane replied, thankful. “Let me do one last quick checkup on you.” She placed her hands on Rangiku’s bandages, pressing lightly in various areas as to make sure of no internal problems such as bleeding.

“No pain.” Rangiku replied before Isane could ask.

“Good. I guess you’re all set then...” Her sentence trailed off and the tall woman rubbed her neck looking off to the side as if trying to remember something. “Oh! And just to be safe please try not to exert yourself too soon.”

Rangiku nodded, that sounded fair. She never planned to immediately jump into training anyways. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me the past week and spending time with me, I know how busy it’s been around here...”

“Don’t thank me, I’m just doing my job but more importantly you’re friend.” Rubbing the back of her neck again, embarrassed, Isane smiled shyly. “You’re probably relieved though. Its probably been pretty boring here but now you finally get to leave.”

Rangiku chuckled, it was always amusing to see how easily embarassed her friend was. Truthfully she was a little relieved but not entirely. While she had become extremely restless the past few days, it was clear she needed to get up and move around. Although, getting back into the day-to-day schedule and all the work that had to be done wasn’t something she looked forward to at all.

“Hey, it wasn’t bad at all.” Rangiku waved a dismissive hand. “You know how much paperwork and other things I’ll have to catch up on when I get back?” A huff escaped the strawberry blond, she didn’t want to think about it now.

“Am I able to visit my captain and the others?” She asked, changing the subject as she slid her body around until her feet dangled off the bed.

The chair scraped on the floor as Isane moved it aside for her. “Of course, I’ll take you to them.” She held out a hand to assist her friend out of bed which Rangiku accepted gratefully, slipping off the bed.

Squad four members scurried busily around the two women eager to reach their destinations as they made their way to Toshiro’s room. Before entering the room, Isane quickly reassured her that the captain was in stable condition and had no complications in his recovery. Hearing the news caused relief to wash over Rangiku, it was the first good news of the day.

Once inside, Isane excused herself saying she would be back. It was a polite way to give Rangiku some time alone with her captain. Standing beside the bed she watched the slow rise and fall of the boys chest. He was wrapped from the neck down in pristine white bandage. How peaceful he looked while sleeping. The seemingly permanent crease of his brow was absent, making him look like his actual age. Sometimes with his serious nature it was easy to forget just how young he was. Stroking a hand over his face, Rangiku pushed that one stray hair out of his face causing the unconscious captain to shift a little. Could he be dreaming? It didn’t appear to be a nightmare as he slept on contently. Hopefully it was something happy, unparalleled to reality.

The strawberry blonde lingered in the room a while longer, as she was focused so intently on Toshiro she hardly noticed the other occupant in the room. Momo who was unconscious as well.

Looking at her friend, Rangiku couldn’t help but feel pity for the girl. Everyone knew she had an unhealthy obsession with her ex-captain. She also knew Momo wouldn’t be able to let go or forget about _him_ but the past few weeks leading up to the war, Rangiku could see how hard the younger girl was trying to gain a sense of control over her thoughts, actions, and emotions for the sake of the squad and herself. It was hard, Rangiku knew firsthand but things couldn’t have gotten any better than that. Just when Momo genuinely seemed to be doing well, recovering from the tragic incident which happened not too long ago, it to happens again. Toshiro too, who was a victim of Aizen’s blade twice now. No doubt it was going to cause past trauma to resurface for the both of them.

Isane reappeared in the doorway a few minutes later asking if she wanted to see Shūhei and Izuru who were a few rooms down. Rangiku agreed easily. She wanted to know how they were doing, knowing they’ve been through a lot as well when they fought together.

Rangiku was greeted by both men with obviously feigned cheerfulness. The woman knew full well how they really felt and wanted to be blunt about it, telling them they didn’t need to put up a front with her.

No. That would just be hypocritical. The strawberry blonde thought back to the heartfelt conversation she’d had with Nanao after the betrayals...

_Rangiku-san... We have been friends for a long time. And I only say this because I care about you. I know you. How you pick some of the permissions from the tree at the third division, thinking no one has noticed. How you act as if you don’t care about your work but you feel bad when your captain ends up doing it for you. How you always put up a happy front even when you aren’t feeling that way. You’re allowed to be emotional. You have me and friends who care about you. It’s okay to let one of us cheer you up when you need it. I want to see you happy. Truly happy. I know I won’t be able to cheer you up the same way you do for me, but I’ll do my best to be the friend you need._

Ever since they met Nanao always had a way with words and Rangiku knew the other woman was right, she was always the one who would cheer up her friends in their times of need or doubt. She was happy to, not to mention damn good at it, but in turn never allowed them to see the side of her that wasn’t always happy. Never allowed them to support her or offer words of support. Rangiku did it herself, and it was true. When nobody was around to see, she would cry, letting all the pent up emotions of the years boil out. The next day everything would be normal. Nobody knew.

As her friend said, Rangiku realized that she needed to open herself up to others and trust them with herself. It would be hard though, it felt like she’d forgotten how to do that decades ago. Back in her early days of becoming a soul reaper, when Gin gave her the cold shoulder. He was supposed to be her closest friend. A lover even... Rangiku was never sure what they were then, what he thought they were, and she didn’t know now. She would never find out.

One day though, she would be able to be truly honest with herself and others.

Upon entrance Rangiku’s gaze was immediately met with Izuru. He had been slashed through by Aizen and was now wrapped from the hip to shoulders with gauze, Shūhei was no better, except his went up to the neck like her captain. Both men looked tired and despondent, not that she could blame them. Like before, Isane filled her in on the small details prior to entering the room. It was then she learned that Shūhei was the one who killled Kaname Tousen. Bowing her head mournful, Rangiku could only imagine the many emotions he must have been going through at the moment.

When he had been captain, Tousen had always presented himself as an intelligent, patient, and respectable man. Most importantly a man who believed in justice. As it turned out, nobody really knew what was going on behind the scenes, but his vision of justice must have been distorted because he was a follower of Aizen. Even so, Rangiku decided she would much rather remember him as the person he was before defection. She hoped Shūhei would be able to do the same.

Taking the chance in an attempt to lift their spirits, Rangiku greeted them back with a light smile on her face, “Shūhei! Izuru! You both are looking well.” The busty woman allowed her eyes to casually wander from Shūhei’s face to torso. “Has Isane been taking care of you guys?” She asked as if she didn’t just openly ogle the dark haired man.

Their reactions were exactly what Rangiku expected.

Isane who stayed for the greetings decided to, the second time this day, excuse herself but for an entirely different reason. She turned on her heel and swiftly left the room. Her neck appeared pink as she went.

An impressive flush spread across Izuru’s face like wildfire and down to his neck as he hastily turned his body away, suddenly self conscious.

Shūhei on the other hand embraced her semi-compliment entirely, sitting up straighter and endeavoring to look more buff than he actually was.

“Y-Yes, she has.”

The stutter was cute.

“...Rangiku-san, you also are looking beautiful today.” He threw back her compliment, not missing a beat. Shuhei was always so intuned to her, it was sweet but she knew for a fact she didn’t look particularly ‘beautiful’ today regardless, she accepted his compliment with a grin. The man would compliment her if she wore a paper bag. He was quite a gentleman.

“Really though, how are you doing..?” Rangiku addressed both of them on a serious note.

Looking between the two men, it was clear Shūhei was in significantly better shape than his blonde counterpart, physically and maybe mentally. Izuru looked far more sullen and haggard than Shūhei. He looked downright fragile, as if she reached out to touch him he would break. Had he heard the news then? There was no way he couldn’t have.

_The traitors are dead and Aizen was sentenced 20,000 years in muken. The soul society is safe. We won._

Rangiku felt compelled to ask him but if it really was that personal he would undoubtedly brush her off. Instead she kept up the small talk though it was Shūhei who did most of the speaking, Izuru would chime in here and there. Like her, neither of them were looking forward to the workload ahead but knew it had to be done. Unsurprisingly neither mentioned anything about the war.

“Were you discharged today?”

“Just before I came here. You know the first thing I would have done is visit you guys.” Rangiku replied. Knowing of their well-being was her top priority.

Shūhei smiled, “Of course.”

“How about you?”

“Today or tomorrow. I’m thinking today though, I don’t wanna fall behind more than I already am.” He glanced over at the blonde beside him who had been spaced out for most of their conversation. “Same for Izuru.”

Isane returned to the room before anything further could be discussed. Rangiku figured it was about time to wrap up their small meeting anyways.

“Well I won’t keep you boys any longer...”

Izuru offered a weak wave.

“Yeah, we’ll see you around. Take care.” Shuhei said giving her teasing salute.

With their short goodbyes done, the two women headed out. Isane kindly offered to accompany her out. On the way they passed multiple occupied rooms, some of which doors were wide open. Familiar were the faces of ex-captains and lieutenants from decades ago. Rangiku remember most of them.

Isane said they called themselves the Vizards now.

As they were about to part ways, Rangiku remembered something important. “Isane... I actually had a question to ask you.” Hesitation laced her voice but she knew it wouldn’t do any harm to ask. “Would you be free to have lunch?”

If the other girl noticed her hesitance, she paid no mind to it. “That would be nice Rangiku-san, I’ll meet you at the eating hall here in about two hours and answer any questions you need the best I can.”

Rangiku smiled in gratitude. “Thanks again Isane.”

They waved at Hanataro who was seated nearby digging into his meal hungrily. The pair settled at a table away from most of the crowd. Rangiku’s question wasn’t something controversial or anything of the sort but she would rather ask something like this in private. If someone were to hear and start spouting rumors it would take a while to stamp them out which wasn’t what anyone needed right now. Rangiku knew Isane was busy healing other patients in addition to her own duties as a lieutenant, which meant she didn’t have a lot of spare time. The busty woman knew she would be in the same position when she returned to her post which would unfortunately be later today.

Now was the best time to ask

“It’s something important isn’t it?” Isane asked slowly.

The strawberry blonde nodded. “It is... to me at least. I guess I’ll just get to the point though. I know squad four was responsible for gathering all the injured or dead bodies after the battle... did you recover the body of Gin Ichimaru?”

The question didn’t appear to throw the other woman off, instead Isane touched her chin thoughtfully as she contemplated for a few moments. “No, I don’t think so why?”

“I know he’s a traitor and after everything he’s done, I still wanted to give him a small burial...” Replied Rangiku, unsure if she should explain any further. Instead she moved onto her next query. “Do you know what could have happened to it? Or if anyone could have.. taken it?”

The silver haired woman’s face suddenly turned grave at the question, “I’m not sure who confirmed his death but what if he’s still alive?” Isane asked, “I should ask Captain Unohana, she might be keeping something like that hushed.”

Rangiku shook her head sadly in response, “He’s dead. I was there when he died... I held him until his last breath.” She admitted. Rangiku didn’t really want to start anything, it was suspicious, yes, and she wanted to know where the body went, but bringing up such a topic now would raise alarms. There was no way he could possibly be alive, and that was that. It just wouldn’t be a good time so shortly after the war.

Isane fixed her with a curious look.

“Gin and I... we used to be childhood friends is all.” Rangiku offered, looking down at her lap downcast.

Although Isane was a trusted friend and would probably be understanding enough, Rangiku decide against revealing the full extent of their relationship, it always got complicated when she talked about him and she was afraid her emotions would get the best of her. The only person who knew of the relationship she had with Gin was Nanao. Though the two of them were practically polar opposites in lifestyle and personality, they surprisingly managed to become very close friends.

Isane’s face displayed her surprise, if only for a split second. “I’m sorry Rangiku-san. You must feel... conflicted about him.” The other woman showed nothing but honesty as Rangiku looked up to meet her eyes. Isane meant what she said.

Rangiku sighed, bitter. “I always was.”

They finished their meal together and continued to chit chat about michelanous topics. Even if it was only about thirty minutes. It was some quality down time. Eventually it was time for Isane to return to her duties. Although she enjoyed their time together Rangiku didn’t want to take up anymore of her friends time.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to ask Captain Unohana?” Asked Isane.

Rangiku dismissed the question with a shake of her head, “No, I will. Not yet though, it’s too soon.” The silver haired woman nodded in understanding. She seemed to easily grasp the idea of what could happen if they spoke out about it now. Soon they exchanged their farewells and headed their separate ways.

Tired and not in the mood to deal with anything else, especially at the office, the strawberry blonde woman wanted to go home. It was selfish of her but surely the squad would be able to survive without their commanding officers for the remainder of the day. The barracks could be seen in the near distance but it didn’t stop her from turning away and heading to the comfort of her quarters. 

A light sigh escaped her parted lips for the thought of finally getting to relax in her own room was something of a dream.

Another week passed quickly. Seemingly faster than the last, since she wasn’t laying in the fourth doing nothing as she had been previously. Back to the daily grind they’ve been expectantly flooded with paperwork and other assignments which took days to complete and they still weren’t completely caught up yet.

Rangiku for once was actually working quite hard and making an impressive contribution. She’d like to think that with her hard work they’d be caught up soon, the earliest being the coming week. Going an entire week with triple their normal work load was getting exhausting. She wanted things back to normal. Napping, occasional drinking, and even the constant nagging by her captain.

The boy had returned to his duties only a few days ago, clearly he felt the need the return as soon as possible but Rangiku worried for his health. His injuries were nothing to overlook, they had been fatal, yet he was there sitting at his desk busy as ever and knowing him, not letting up anytime soon. Just as she’d done the day she returned, Rangiku knew her captain was only throwing himself into the work to keep his mind off of what happened. After he deemed the amount of work he had done acceptable, he pushed himself even further by going out to train. Some days she would follow him, he would always choose the same spot. An open mouthed cave, far enough away from civilization so that nobody could see or be harmed. She didn’t know if he knew about her following, if he did he never tried to stop her.

It was still hard for Rangiku as well. At times it was hard to keep her emotions in check. Thoughts of a certain someone plagued her mind at the most random times. One moment she was fine, happy and laughing, but the next she holding back tears.

Rangiku came to the realization of how sad it was that everything, every thought, seemed to make a full circle back to the silver haired man.

Finally a day off. Everything within their division had been caught up on and completed. Today was the day to kick back and relax. There would also be a much anticipated SWA meeting tomorrow which Rangiku was excited for. It would be the first one since the war. The strawberry blonde hadn’t been in much contact with many of the others, like Rangiku, their days had been practically filled. Before that though, there was something that needed to do be done. She’d meant to do it sooner but the needs of the squad came first.

Out in the Rukongai Rangiku picked up a custom headstone she requested from the carver. It was nothing fancy or anything of the sort. He wouldn’t have wanted that. It was merely a small rectangular flat stone. The smooth granite rock from which it was carved was light in shade though as weathering occurred it would slowly fade into a dirty brown. It wouldn’t come to that though, she would be there to clean it up before that happened. His name, small-scaled, was carved elegantly and perfectly fit in the center.

_Gin Ichimaru_

The thought of polishing it crossed her mind but she decided against it. It wasn’t her intention to draw attention to it, if anyone were to see it and that was highly unlikely. It would be best to keep it simple.

She never left the Rukongai, instead her legs took her to the place she used to call home and the perfect place to set the headstone.

Hopefully the old shack didn’t have any residents.

Rangiku stood facing the front entrance of the small structure. The door was open. From what could be seen inside, the place was barren. She approached hesitant, it had been several decades since she’d last visited her childhood home. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting.

The flimsy wooden steps creaked in protest under her weight. Standing at the entrance she felt glued to the spot. The strawberry blonde took in the sight before her while memories of Gin and her childhood flooded her head. The place they ate, slept, laughed, played, and cried. They did it all together. Well, the crying was mostly on her part. She remembered worrying herself sick when he went out for weeks and didn’t return.

Suddenly emotional, a moistness gathered in the corner of her eyes. She was doing this to herself by being here. Taking a shaky breath Rangiku willed back the troublesome tears telling herself to calm down. She swiped the misty edges of her eyes and returned her sights to the interior of the shack.

It was fairly bright inside. Beams of light invaded from the outside through the gaping holes in the ceiling. When she lived here the holes were barely visibly slivers in the roof where only water would seep through on the rainy days. She still remembered one of the many promises he made to her which was to patch the ceiling. There were only two at the time, which they placed buckets under to catch the droplets.

Needless to say it never got fixed.

An unpleasant and moist mildewy smell hit her olfactory senses the further she went inside causing her to retreat hovering near the entrance. The floor boards were uneven, the wood having been long withered now from the rain. No wallpaper either, but there wasn’t any when she lived here either. The fireplace remained untouched as well, except for a few logs resting in the firebox. They were probably rotted.

Other than that there really wasn’t much else to see. The place was one big singular room and Rangiku worried that it was on the brink of collapse. She sighed sadly, it was depressing to see the state of the once homey shack now filthy, abandoned, and horribly dilapidated. She thought of coming over more often, maybe even try and fix it up. It would take an effort but the outcome is what mattered the most. Rangiku wanted to see the place how she’d seen it so many years ago.

The weight of the headstone which was tucked firmly under her arm was a reminder of what she came here to do in the first place.

Rangiku stepped back out onto the small porch scanning the surroundings of the shack trying to decide on a good place to set the headstone. She wanted it to be visible from the shack, where she stood currently. Unfortunately there wasn’t anything particularly special about the surroundings. A little beyond though, the distinct outline of a persimmon tree caught her attention.

Gins’ favorite persimmon tree.

How could she have forgotten? It was a little ways from where she would have wanted but right underneath the tree would undoubtedly be the perfect place and she would still be able to make out the headstone and know what it was. It would also be considerate to anyone who would so choose to occupy the shack in the future. How odd it would be to see the headstone of a random man in the yard.

Once Rangiku had successfully planted the headstone she stepped back to see how it looked. She had made sure it was sturdily grounded in the soil so it would remain unbothered by the harsh weathering to come. In addition to adjusting the placement so it wasn’t crooked but instead perfectly even.

It looked good.

The strawberry blonde crossed her arms as she broke out in a satisfied smile. It still felt as if there was something missing, besides the ashes, but it still felt better knowing she did something to remember him by even if he never left anything. Well, their shack was still standing. Rangiku supposed it would be enough for her.


	4. unknowns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a Ginran story but Izuru is one of my favorites I wanted him to play a part in this, especially his obvious obsession with Ichimaru.

**The Quincy War**

_Beep._

_Beep._

...

_Beep._

_Beep._

Useless. 

He was completely and utterly useless. How shameful of him to be called a lieutenant! Shame was an emotion second nature to Izuru and right now his entire being burned with it. His recollection involved waiting for a Quincy to arrive, seeing one, and then immediately being offed by whoever it was. He had only been able to draw his sword, he didn’t stand a chance. 

Izuru played the scene over and over in his head, analyzing and searching for anything he could have done or should have done differently. Anything he could have done to be more prepared for what happened. But he found that he could think of nothing, the outcome would be the same regardless. Never was Izuru a positive thinker, maybe he had been in the past but he knew, everyone knew, he was a changed person since then. It was true that he was taken by surprise, not expecting such an ability right off the gate, it left him no time to react. But that could just as easily be an excuse. His friends always told him to give himself more credit or not to be so hard on himself but wasn’t that just the same as making excuses for yourself? 

Plagued by constant self-deprecating thoughts, there was no such thing as not being hard on himself. Everything was just so horribly discouraging and it felt like every single negative thought Izuru had about the war and about himself suddenly caught up to him, ensnaring him with a claustrophobic hold around his neck. 

He was alive.

_We won_

He repeated the mantra to himself over and over.

_We won_

_We won_

_You’re alive_

Maybe he was better off dead.

_We won_

_We won_

The third squad now had a captain they could depend on. Someone worthy of their respect, who they could look up to and admire. Someone they could be proud of, unlike him. Izuru knew the squad never really respected him, and that’s what hurt even more. He knew. They expected failure after failure from him and they knew that they couldn’t depend upon him worth a damn. Honestly, Izuru couldn’t blame them. If he were in their shoes he wouldn’t depend on himself either. When he looked in the mirror everyday and saw himself, he would see a shadow of his former self. Depressed, unconfident, boring Izuru. That was his life. Sometimes he had better days but at the end of it, he still just felt... sad. 

He wasn’t a person that could be depended upon. 

His thoughts of himself then drifted to Gin, as they so often did. The silver haired man also knew of the squads opinion of him, they weren’t very subtle, whispering and spreading gossip shamelessly. Surprisingly it was something he didn’t take lightly. If Gin caught anyone in the act, he’d tell them off saying something along the lines of, ‘If ya gotta say somethin’ about the lieutenant have the balls to at least say it to his face, hmm?’, This was something that shocked Izuru, that his captain had actually stood up for him. Later he realized it was because Gin wanted to be the only person allowed to degrade him. 

Izuru let him.

What would Gin Ichimaru think about him now? Not that he’d changed a whole lot besides for getting a haircut, as suggested by Rangiku. The busty woman said it would make him look younger, brighter, and happier. She put an emphasis on the word ‘younger’ when she told him and Izuru wondered exactly how any of those traits could be a result of getting a haircut, regardless he let her cut it. She then proceeded to cut her own which came as a surprise to him. Izuru thought her hair was her pride and joy, indeed the strawberry blonde had a gorgeous mane of thick, luscious and healthy hair. If he were in her shoes he wouldn’t have done it. Rangiku on the other hand insisted that she wanted to try something different. He supposed it didn’t matter though, she was still as beautiful as ever, as Shūhei said.

True to her word the haircut did indeed make him look younger, but not necessarily ‘happier’ or ‘brighter’. He still felt the same, slightly depressed. Unfortunately being depressed was just apart of him which he’d long accepted. 

_Izuru._

Izuru.

Sometimes he could hear Gin’s voice in his dreams. That lazy drawl and always teasing voice rang in his ears. It whispered compliments and other sweet nothings to him.

What would he say to him right now if he were here? 

_My, ya look terrible. Poor thing._

“Can you hear me lieutenant?”

Truthfully Izuru was fine with never waking up but he was still a lieutenant meaning that it was time to face the music. He let the incessant voice calling out to him, who wasn’t Gin, reel him back into reality.

_Want me to get ya out?_

“Wake up Kira.”

Izuru opened his eyes only to shut them instantly. A bright light shone down on him from above which seemed to burn through his delicate eyelids. But perhaps he was just over sensitive, considering he’d just been in a comatose.

The ‘clack’ of a switch was heard and suddenly the light threatening to invade his eyes disappeared. Whoever was there thankfully had the decency to turn the light off. Izuru’s eyelids felt dry and crusty as he opened them once again. Based on his growing physical discomfort, he was laying on a table and a quick eye scan of the room told him he was in the twelfths’ lab. That and the fact that Akon was standing over him staring down at him.

The other man said nothing, so Izuru took the lead, asking how long he’d been out. With a throat as dry as the Rukongai, he expected a voice crack at the least but fortunately it never happened. 

“A few days, at least. You’re in an extension of squad twelves’ lab.” Akon replied, rather nonchalantly. “The captains and other able bodied lieutenants all went up to the soul palace.”

The soul palace? Was that even possible. The blonde knew there was a lot more to it than met the eye and he’d find out sooner or later but for now he didn’t press. 

Almost fully conscious now, Izuru registered that everything below his neck down to his hips felt numb, including his arms. He was about to ask but Akon spoke first, explaining how he was in critical condition and on the brink of death, but luckily Mayuri got to him. The captain was able to conserve his life and what remained of his body. Akon went on to the drug that they admitted him, the reason why his body was numb and Izuru could merely move his head in the others direction to aknowledge that he heard. The blonde struggled to look down to get a view of his own body, when he finally did, he couldn’t stop the strangled gasp that escaped. Izuru’s mouth went dry, even more so than it had been, and his throat seemed to constrict upon itself. Suddenly he felt light headed. 

His body was now deformed and part missing. How could he go about his daily life looking like this? What would everyone think of him? Well the blonde didn’t need to ask himself that. It was simple. Either they would be out right disturbed or just pity him. Both were bad. Of course his uniform would cover everything but still it was going to look weird. Izuru knew he shouldn’t be thinking about it now or else he’d think up every single worst possible situation yet to happen when he finally showed his face. He could only hope Captain Kurotsuchi would be able to help him further. The sky was the limit for the scientist, would patching him up really be such a challenge? 

“How long will this numbness last?” Asked Izuru, desperate to change his train of thought. 

“A few more hours I’d say.” Akon answered, not being very specific, “Just rest lieutenant. Things are in good hands.” The man must have thought he did a good job reassuring him as Izuru watched the his white lab coat leave the room. 

_Yeah right_ , Izuru thought, not believing Akon for a second. The entirety of the Soul Society was probably decimated at this point. Everything was fine and dandy. He wondered why Akon appeared to be so unfazed. Regardless, Izuru complied to Akon’s suggestion and closed his eyes again hoping to catch a few more hours until he could move again. The rhythmic sound of the monitors steady beeping lulled him back to slumber.

Izuru woke again. He didn’t know how much time had passed from the last time he was awake. It must have been hours according to Akon, since he could now feel and move his body at will. With his feeling returned to him the lieutenant began to grow restless, he needed to get up and move but thought best to wait until Akon returned.

He didn’t. 

Not particularly in the mood to wait around any longer, especially with his restlessness, Izuru decided to go about on his own accord. He thankfully didn’t pass many others in the hall, it was quite quiet. It wasn’t difficult to navigate the exit either, the building was miniature compared to the actual lab, it was an extension after all.

Once outside the small building Izuru spotted two pods which were only a few paces away. Upon further inspection he realized they were advanced healing pods, curtesy of Mayuri Kurotsuchi. Not only that but they were occupied by captain Histsugaya and Rangiku, making Izuru do a double take. Both were unconscious and he briefly wondered how long they’ve been in there, given their appearance it couldn’t have been long though. They looked themselves still, but their skintones were very dark either brown or red. Izuru couldn’t tell, given the pod window wasn’t completely transparent but knowing Mayuri, it was safe to assume that the pod was going to reverse the effects of whatever happened to them.

Rather unexpectedly the blonde lieutenant sensed something. A lingering spiritual pressure no doubt and the user had been masking it. Sensing spiritual pressure just happened to be his strong suit, since he was by nature anxious, skittish, and almost always in tune with his surroundings.

Unfortunately the spiritual pressure was too faint for Izuru to make an identification or even to follow. But something about it was unmistakably familiar, he knew it. He could never forget... but perhaps he wasn’t in the right mind because Izuru knew _that man_ was dead. There was just no way. The blonde scoffed softly to himself, brushing the thought off, he convinced himself that whatever drug he’d been given must have still been in his system causing his senses to wig out. Since he was thinking of said man earlier, it wouldn’t be a surprise if he was somehow hallucinating either. 

It didn’t matter now though, as a lieutenant he had to protect what remained of the Soul Society. With the thought in mind, Izuru flash-stepped across the trails of ruined buildings on the lookout for anything abnormal or anyone who might need his assistance. 

A good thirty minutes in his patrol through the perimeters Izuru saw nobody but instead caught something very strange in the distance. With his suspicions rising he headed in the direction of the oddity. 

Close enough to see now, Izuru stopped in his tracks. 

He must have arrived just in time because there, about a mile away and impossible not to see, illuminated orbs composed of spiritual pressure began raining down from the sky. Below were a number of soul reapers gathered around, bewildered and wondering what exactly it was they were looking at. Closer and closer to the surface the strange lights came and Izuru inhaled sharply, horrified, as one of the orbs falling came in contact with one of the mens face, desinigrating upon contact. Though he remained a generous distance away from the scene, Izuru backed up and out of sight behind a pile of rubble to observe just what the hell was going on.

As the mysterious lights touched down on the ground they began to take form, necks began to sprout from the light and into the sky. The illumination dimmed enough to see what looked to be a disproportioned and vertically stretched chick. Izuru couldn’t but at the same time could believe what he was seeing as dozens more of the odd creatures started to uproot from the ground. They grew extremely tall and were of the same height as the few buildings that remained standing. The heads just as abnormal as the body, large and bulbous, not to mention they all had the same incredibly unnerving gaze: black, beady, and for a while unblinking. Fortunately they seemed the lack a fair amount of spiritual pressure. 

Izuru waited a few moments longer, he was fairly certain there was something more to the odd creatures, a hidden ability maybe. Nothing seemed to be happening though, that is, until one of the birds suddenly began rapidly twirling its head around while emitting shrill wails and a series of ‘no’s’ at the top of its lungs. It was then followed up by a string of curses directed at the newly appointed head captain, Shunsui Kyoraku. As the beast continued with its manic rambling, the soul reapers watching let out panicked shouts of their own not knowing what to do.

Good lord.

_GIIIIIII GIIII GI GIII GI_

As a flock the birds began moving towards the soul reapers who now backed away cowering in fear for their lives. Unsheathing his sword, Izuru knew it was time to step in. 

“Raise your head, Wabisuke.” 

In his hand his zanpakuto took form. Within seconds, the normal looking blade extended and curved back around in a half box shape. With his weapon drawn, Izuru leapt out from hiding and flew towards the closest bird, swinging Wabisuke clean through the creatures head. Izuru landed atop one of the many half standing buildings and watched as seconds later the head exploded in a giant elliptical of light. 

All eyes turned to him. 

_GI GI GIIIIIII GIIIII GI_

One of the birds began to shriek at him hysterically. “You’re supposed to be dead! You were killed!” 

While Izuru was curious as to how this bird knew of his ‘death’, he choose to ignore the obvious remark. “All these filthy birds cawing at me nonstop is making my head ring,” He raised his arm out beside him with Wabisuke in hand point down, preparing for another strike. “and my ears bleed.”

_GIIIIIIIIIIIIIII GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII_

“Who.... Who are you? Identify yourself!” Demanded the creature, growing even more agitated, it’s shrill voice amplifying. 

“A dead man.” 

Within seconds Izuru was on the move again. The birds that previously squawked at him never stood a chance as their necks were effectively severed and only moments after the heads could be seen in the sky, a series of painfully bright explosions. 

The blonde paused momentarily to take another look around his surroundings. A sight he never thought he’d seen in his lifetime as a soul reaper and one to behold, the seireitei really was destroyed. “Geez, I can definitely appreciate the wake up call and all but... look at all this wreckage. Everything I look at is in shambles.” He sighed lightly before continuing. “Makes you wonder how someone like me survived this.” He said it more to himself but there was a certain bitterness in his tone. 

With all attention still on Izuru, The remainder of the strange birds started advancing towards him they were surprisingly fast on thin but steady legs. “There’s definitely something more going on here.” Izuru said to himself as he raised Wabisuke once again, pointing his blade towards the looming creatures. “Isn’t there?” He asked, which was more of a rhetorical question than anything, he couldn’t care less about the answer.

Soon the entire flock was nothing more than than a number of headless bird bodies, victim of his blade. It was a bit off putting to look at but you could never be too sure, his victory especially seemed almost too easy, so Izuru kept an eye out expectantly, hoping they wouldn’t suddenly regenerate in another wave of attack. Luckily the bodies remained unmoving.

Izuru approached the surviving soul reapers once he was sure creatures were dead. There was only a few of them who must have been from different squads because Izuru didn’t recognize any of the faces. As soon as they laid eyes on him, their relief was visible. They all immediately crowded over to him in a flurry, noisily asking him various different questions at once. Izuru knew they deserved to be answered and they would, but he held off on answering anything and instead did a quick look over of the group, he could see that some of them were injured and that needed to be taken care of first. 

After getting the group to quiet down the blonde lieutenant took charge telling them he’d lead them back the direction he came and to the lab where they could receive treatment from the twelth. None of the soul reapers looked particularly thrilled when he mentioned the twelfth but squad four members were nowhere to be seen, they had to take what they could get. Izuru also agreed that he would answer things when they made it back to the lab, though he truthfully didn’t know much more than they did.

Having been so caught up in the moment with the weird birds, Izuru had almost forgotten about the gaping hole on his body. Of course someone was going to ask, even when he said he’d answer questions when they got back.

“Lieutenant what happened?”

Curious and prying eyes wandered his open chest and the blonde felt as if he were standing there naked. Some looked away in what was probably disgust, others with pity and few with genuine interest. Izuru knew that their reactions were only natural but getting a tad anxious he had to fight the reflex to cover himself with his hands or anything, not that it would do anything. He sighed, “It’s a long story.” Izuru answered turning to leave. He hoped they got the memo and wouldn’t ask anything further, the lieutenant didn’t need to, nor felt like explaining his situation to these random strangers.

On their way back Izuru found out from one of the men that they were supposed to be guarding the barracks inside, unfortunately there wasn’t much left to guard, but they were left wandering around in search of an authority figure. It made sense and Izuru responded by telling them they did the right thing. 

The soul reaper who relayed the previous information was either feeling talkative or just was talkative in general. He spoke his mind and everything in between, speculation on how the captains were faring to how he hadn’t changed his uniform in four days. Izuru thought the last part was too much information but over sharing seemed to take the other mans mind off things, who was Izuru to complain about that. 

Once at the lab Izuru located Akon and requested medical help for the injured. With the about half the group left he proceeded to answer questions, ones that he knew the answers to of course, which weren’t many. He stopped when they started getting frivolous and excused himself saying that he needed to get back to his ‘patrol’. The soul reapers seemed to accept his word, wishing their farewells and luck to the lieutenant, they began to head inside the lab to check up on their wounded companions. 

Truthfully, there wasn’t much else Izuru could do but to stay on high alert in case of another attack. Things had been quiet so far and he assumed that the battles which took place in the Seireitei had been won, it wasn’t like he could get into the soul palace and join them. After little thought Izuru settled on finishing his watch since he never actually finished the first time. Passing by the pods with Rangiku and her captain inside he peered through the glass again. The blondes exhaled in relief, whatever healing properties the pod had seemed to be working slowly but surely because both looked better than they had the last time he saw them which wasn’t too long ago.

Feeling a bit more optimistic that at least one thing was going right, Izuru went around back of the lab deciding to start his patrol from the other direction. 

The feeling didn’t last long.

Izuru’s eyes widened the moment he turned the corner. There, out in plain sight and completely exposed, was none other than Sōsuke Aizen, traitor to the Soul Society. He was seated in a rather uncomfortable and bulky looking chair away from the building but close enough for Izuru to make out who he was. The mans hairstyle alone was a dead giveaway even if he wasn’t facing him. 

What the hell was he doing here? Did anyone know about this? Izuru thought to himself. Akon and everyone else seemed perfectly calm going about their business inside. He must know something that Izuru didn’t but forgot to tell him. This was big though, not something you just ‘forget’ or ‘leave out.’ Unsure of what to do next, Izuru stood there frozen to the spot. Knowing Aizen, the powerful soul reaper already knew he was there. 

Should he turn back? 

It was a question Izuru which knew the answer to. Yes, it would be in his best interest to turn around and demand an explanation from Akon. At the same time, Izuru was curious. Very curious. The longer he stood there debating, the stronger his urge to approach Aizen and find out everything for himself grew.

His thoughts were interrupted when _he_ finally spoke, “Has the lieutenant come out the play?” The voice asked. Izuru realized he didn’t have much of a choice now. As expected, it was no surprise the ex-captain sensed him. “You’re thinking rather _loudly_.” He added. 

Despite his conscious protesting against it, Izuru found himself less than eager, walking out to the source of his current fretting. Being sure to keep his distance, the blonde circled around the chair dubiously until he was facing the other man. Looking from a frontal view Izuru could only assume that his attire was a seal. After Aizen’s defeat it became widespread news that his powers had been sealed and that he was sent to the lowest level of muken, the underground prison. 

Besides the visible silver zipper and a matching colored ratty garment around his neck, the ex-captain wore a completely black outfit which was nearly down to the ankle and well fitted. His arms had been shackled to the chair but his legs were left free. What stood out the most was the eyepatch. It covered his right eye and unintentionally gave the man an even more sardonic type of appeal, so Izuru thought. There was otherwise nothing different about the man, Aizen looked the same as he did during the Winter War; Lush brown hair pushed back, an intense lone brown-eyed gaze, and a trace of arrogance. 

How could a man who had all his powers sealed still be so cocky? 

Seeing the seals firsthand unfortunately still did little to alleviate Izuru’s nerves. With Sōsuke Aizen it was wise to be wary, the man had proven himself to be unpredictable on more than one occasion. “Ever so fickle are we Kira-kun?” Sōsuke admonished. “I assure you, you’re in no danger. As you can see, i’m _restrained_.” The suave soul reaper didn’t forget to place a sarcastic emphasis on ‘restrained’. 

It had been a while since Izuru laid eyes on the man before him, Sōsuke Aizen. The once soft and gentle-hearted captain of the fifth was someone completely different than  
the man who sat before him. Only now could Izuru understand what it meant when he said, ‘the man you knew never existed in the first place’.

This was the real Sōsuke Aizen. 

But how had it seemed so real? 

Falacy Aizen was kind spirited and had a warming presence, he seemed to make just about everyone feel safe and comfortable around him. He was a hardworking and responsible gentleman with impeccable manners, a man who made you want to trust in him, about everything and anything. The cherry on top? It was those inviting chocolate eyes, it was what made people love him. 

He was perfect _too_ perfect.

No wonder Momo was so taken with him. Even after everything and him now being a prisoner of muken, Izuru admittedly thought Aizen was good looking, devastatingly so, that was apparently something both the fallacy and the real one had in common. 

But the real Aizen was dangerous. By looks he wasn’t completely menacing but it was what you knew about him that made him so. How he planned, how he manipulated, how he had gotten away with it. Izuru had never interacted with the man after his defection, why would he? But yet another thing completely different was how he spoke, the powerful soul reaper had quite a tongue. The blonde lieutenant could never imagine _captain_ Aizen speaking in such a provoking way. It revealed his superiority complex which already wasn’t hard to notice.

The ex-captain fixed Izuru with a steady gaze, it held something along the line of contempt maybe? Or perhaps it was just plain boredom. Unsurprising, Izuru got that look a lot. 

“Just playing it safe, can you blame a man?” He replied, leveling the other man with steady expression. “And please refrain from addressing me like that. You no longer have the right.” As he spoke, Izuru’s chest clenched feeling a heavy wave of anxiety hit. Perhaps he shouldn’t be speaking so... boldly. This man was not to he underestimated, and could undoubtedly slit his throat within a second. Even if he was detained, Izuru thought, anything could happen. Then again, the man before him didn’t deserve his respect and Izuru could speak anyway he wanted to the traitor. Not that he would, so instead the blonde attempted maintain an impassive front but inside he didn’t know what he was getting himself into. 

Really, what was he doing? The blondes’ thoughts circled around again to how he should have just ignored his curiosity upon realizing who it was, went back inside the lab, asked Akon to fill him in on whatever happened, and again, what was Sōsuke Aizen doing there?

There was that bored look again. “Fair enough _lieutenant_.” The last word rolled of his tongue like silk; rich, smooth, and filled with false pleasantness. How easily one could be fooled. Aizen’s gaze finally shifted to the cavity of Izuru’s chest. “That’s quite an interesting development there.” He commented, changing the subject. 

“What are you doing here?” Izuru asked, disregarding the other mans remark completely.

He’d only asked the obvious, but there was one _other_ question that weighed heavily on his mind. Shūhei had been granted permission to interview Aizen for the Seireitei Bulletin and had been down in muken a few times. Izuru was sure Shūhei would allow him to tag along to listen in, maybe even ask a question of his own. It was a thought, but the blonde knew that with the questions he wanted to ask, it would only raise suspicion about his loyalties. Though it was primarily Momo who raised concerns regarding loyalty, Izuru was not far from the tree. He wasn’t oblivious to how the other lieutenants would avoid mentioning anything related to Aizen or Gin in front of them both. 

Right now, he needed to know. Izuru wanted to hear it from Aizen’s own mouth. 

“Why did you kill Gin Ichimaru?”

The corners of ex-captains mouth slightly tilted upwards, like he was just waiting for Izuru to ask. “He was as much of a traitor to me, as he was to you and I simply don’t tolerate insubordination.” 

Izuru’s eyes narrowed, insubordination? What kind of ‘insubordination’ would cause Aizen to kill off his most loyal follower? It must have been pretty extreme, like a betrayal-

“He tried to kill you.” Izuru concluded.

Aizen hummed. “Indeed.” But he didn’t bother to indulge and explain any further. 

“Why would he do that?” His mouth pressed into a grim line, the lieutenant pressed on, determined to get more out of the conversation.

“He wanted the hogyoku. For the girl.” He replied simply, as if Izuru had everything figured out already. Why Gin would go after the hogyoku was plausible, he knew it was a major power source for Aizen, his ace. Taking that away would have increased their odds of defeating him. But a girl? It made no sense. Izuru knew for a fact his captain wasn’t with anyone. He just wasn’t. The only girl he’d been known to associate was Rangiku but she claimed he stopped talking to her over a century ago. 

“...What-“

Aizen sighed. “You’re well acquainted with her.” He was growing a tad bored with playing the guessing game.

“Rangiku.” 

So it really was her then. The shock factor was anticlimactic since she was the only person that came to mind, but he didn’t voice it thinking it was too... obvious. The blonde only hoped this time Aizen would actually explain himself.

“Correct. As you have probably heard, the foundation and creation of the hogyoku required the combination of many souls in order to be completed,” The lieutenant took in the information trying not to appear too eager. Of course he’d heard small snippets from the other lieutenants and captains who ‘spoke’ about it but it was still always kept hush hush. 

It made sense, but that must have been at least a couple centuries ago. It had been revealed that that Aizen was experimenting with souls and soul reapers at his disposal. What happened to Rangiku must have been around that same time then. Both her and Gin must have been a child then, Izuru wasn’t even born yet. But it also meant that even at such a young age, she had enough spiritual power to survive what Aizen did to her.

_He saved me_ is what Rangiku always said when asked about Gin. 

“I always had my doubts about that boy,” The ex-captain recalled, almost appearing nostalgic before continuing. “He played his part flawlessly but I knew there was something else about him, it intrigued me. Somedays I sensed hesitation in him, I knew he would try to kill me but when? Finally he took his chance, even managed to catch me off guard. Gin certainly was clever, he may even have succeeded. The hogyoku was in the palm of his hand but it was too late, I already evolved. He had ample opportunities to kill me and in the end he failed because he waited too long.” Breaking down everything that was just explained, Izuru found that Aizen spoke rather fondly of Gin, expressing high praise for the man even through his attempt to kill him. The blonde got the feeling that maybe they had some sort of deeper and twisted companionship rather than just leader and follower.

Izuru briefly wondered why Aizen told him that much but he wasn’t complaining. This was big, did anyone else know about this? Or was he the only person who knew the truth about Gin? And knowing this, did that make him any less evil? At this point Aizen was the last thing on the lieutenants’ mind as he jumped from thought to thought, completely disregarding the other soul reapers presence. 

Gin died a traitor but this could change things, he might even be able to have his name cleared. 

...

...

Izuru gulped. 

He wanted Gin to be innocent. 

He-

Izuru’s increasingly contentious train of thought was abruptly interrupted by the appearance an ominous black blurb. It manifested some distance away but close enough to notice. Izuru quickly glanced over to Aizen, he looked collected as always and the blonde couldn’t tell if that was suspicious or not. Slowly shadows began to swirl and the small black hole started to grow in size until it opened into a large wormhole. Before Izuru could question Aizen if this was his doing, the Quincy lord himself, Ywach, stepped out from the shadows. The rift of darkness dispersed into thin air as quickly as it had appeared behind him.

The Quincy oozed chaos. Ywach was easily over six feet as he appeared to tower over everything around him. There was a harshness to his face where lines of age were visible with a mix of his own gaunt cheekbones. A long bushy mustache only seemed to add to his authoritarian appearance. He grew black mane-like hair that practically covered his eyes and flowed nearly to the waist. The Quincy sported a brown, almost black, cloak that just about touched the ground and shrouded his body. Only the white of what could assumably be the Quincy uniform was visible spilling out from the cloaks collar.

As Ywach absorbed his new surroundings, Aizen was the one who immediately caught the Quincys attention. Izuru sensed a budding tension as the two eyed each other up in a short yet unyielding staring contest. “You’re a sight for sore eyes... I never would have imagined that we’d cross paths again here in the Soul Society.” Ywach sneered, successfully breaking the silence. The voice fit the speaker, the Quincy’s voice was gravely and rough, where as Aizens was suave and tempting. 

Both successfully managed to unnerve Izuru. 

“I’d like to welcome you to my soul society.” Aizen said, ignoring the previous statement. 

He didn’t seem threatened at all. 

Izuru’s heart dropped, if Ywach was here... did that mean all the captains and lieutenants who went up to the soul palace were killed? If that was the case then that left the rest of them with no chance of survival. No doubt the Quincy lord intended to slaughter the remaining soul reapers and destroy the soul society. 

And what about Aizen? His powers were sealed and he was strapped to a chair but even if he weren’t, Izuru couldn’t expect anything from a traitor. 

It would be suicide to draw his sword now, an attack would be a mere itch for Ywach to scratch. But Izuru was a warrior and he would die knowing he tried protecting what mattered most... No that would just be foolish. It didn’t matter what he did either way, in the next few minutes he was probably doing to die.

Somewhat unconsciously, Izuru’s hand hovered closer to his sword as if he were about to draw. It was nerve wracking waiting for something to happen but Ywach finally acknowledged him with a tilt of his head in the lieutenants direction, giving a knowing scoff, daring him to attack. 

...

Seeing no attempt to make a move, Ywach quickly realized that Izuru was wasting his time. “Step aside little ant.” The Quincy growled in annoyance, deciding he was done waiting for the weakling to come out and ‘stick it to him’. Leaving no time to react he reached out with his right hand and with a flick of his wrist sent a mass of darkness directly towards Izuru, effectively wiping him clean off his feet and sending him flying far out of the way. 

With the wind knocked from his body, Izuru hit the ground hard. So hard, he felt something inside him rattle, if that was even possible. To top it all off, his head ended up hitting an upturned fragment of cement on the ground. Letting out a due curse under his breath Izuru’s hand flew to his head albeit too late for protection. Shit, no doubt he had a concussion and his entire body was killing him, especially the area around his chest cavity. It throbbed. The blonde could feel a certain wooziness creeping up on him and with a pained exhale he rolled to his back for a more comfortable position.

Suddenly the ground shook under him and Izuru turned his head to try and glimpse what was happening. A monstrous surge of black spiritual pressure erupted from where Ywach and Aizen were. As it calmed, the blonde could see chunks of wreckage flying to the ground in the aftermath. A gasp escaped him as he realized what that was about, in the midst of settling dust, there stood Aizen in all his glory. 

The chair was no more. 

_I was certain that you were up above in the soul king’s palace, locked in fierce combat..._

_From what I gather, Ichigo Kurosaki gave you far more trouble than you bargained for._

_Don’t project your own anxieties into me, you were the one that was defeated by the boy._

_At any rate, you have my eternal thanks for ridding me of that infernal chair... Because of that, I now have the means to stop you._

_You stand in my way for the sake of the soul society? I dont think that would be in your best interests._

_This has nothing to do with interests. My only agenda is to eviscerate any who might try to rule over me and control me._

Too far away to hear words being exchanged Izuru waited for unconsciousness to claim him. 

Later when Izuru awoke, he found himself on his back laying on a mat on the ground. The sun was out and the bright rays caused him to squint as he looked around estimating where he was now. Turns out he was inside a section of the fourth but the the ceiling was completely destroyed, hence the sun. The room was quiet, a few other soul reapers occupied the room with him with less severe injuries. At least his body felt better than it had. The blonde kept his head down as a sudden dizzy spell overcame his senses and he groaned in discomfort. So this was what a concussion felt like.

He was still alive though. 

That meant they won and the Soul Society was safe. But who survived? What happened to Aizen? More questions just kept coming and it made his head throb painfully. Again, as much as he wanted to know, Izuru knew he wouldn’t get them all answered at once. Even with the uncomfortable pain of his head, there was something tranquil in the moment, knowing there was no longer any threats and that they were safe. The blonde sighed as he lay back down willing himself to ignore all his aches and worries and just take this time to get some much needed rest. 

Hours passed, Izuru’s head still bothered him as he’d expected it to. By feeling, it must have been around late afternoon. He could now hear voices and activity from the outside thanks to the nonexistent roof. Something was still not sitting right though. It was everything that Aizen had told him sometime before that just seemed to lay heavily on his chest and he felt like he needed to get it off. It gave him unnecessary anxiety knowing that he was the only one who _knew_. 

Did anyone else? 

Izuru sat up rather hastily causing his head to throb in pain and it continued to for a good five minutes forcing him to lay back down and close his eyes. He placed a hand over his eyes, it was so bright out. 

The sound of a door opening wasn’t enough to bother the blonde or make him look to see who it was. Probably a squad four member.

“Izuru?” A voice asked. The person there was now kneeling over him. 

Izuru removed his hand which shielded his eyes from the sunlight overhead. “Shuhei?” He asked, surprise evident as he looked up at his friend. 

“I was looking for you, nobody really knew what happened to you so I came here. Are you alright?” The dark haired man looked as concerned as he sounded. 

Izuru sat up, slowly this time, not wanting to trigger a dizzy spell. “It’s not as bad as it looks... I’m fine, I guess.”

“What happened?” Shūhei asked, tiredly taking a seat in across his friend. “I’ve got time.” He added, with a lazy half-smile. 

The man looked more than tired. Exhausted. But he was cleaned up, meanwhile Izuru knew he looked like shit, probably smelled like it too. He thought back to what that one soul reaper said to him about not changing his uniform for four days. That was Izuru now. 

“Sorry to disappoint but there’s not much of a story to it. The Quincies came and then a beam of some sort... got me...” Shūhei raised a brow at him. A small smirk growing on his face.

Izuru shook his head a reluctant smile of his own threatening to show. “I know, it sounds _lame_. But truthfully I don’t really know what happened.” He looked over to his friend who stared right back waiting for a real explanation. 

Humiliating as it was to recall, Izuru relayed the bare seconds of his _defeat_ with a bit more detail, “It could only have been a second but maybe I was too slow to react.” If Shūhei hadn’t already noticed, he stretched his arm out revealing the result. “My arm was literally blown off but Mayuri _fixed_ me up... kinda.” The blonde purposefully left out his encounter with Aizen and Ywach feeling like it was something he needed to tell the head captain first.

Shūhei shook his head, offering his sympathy. “Damn...” He paused, his lips pursed like he was going to say something. “You’re lucky to be alive.” 

Izuru nodded. “I know... but a small part of me actually wouldn’t have minded though, dying...” He stopped to looked Shūhei in the eye. “Is that selfish of me?” After having _those_ kinds of thoughts for so long, Izuru thought it would have given him some sort of relief to finally come out and admit it to someone. Why did he feel worse now? 

“Izuru...” Shūhei started, “There’s people here who need you, look up to you, as soul reapers we vowed to protect the Soul Society no matter what and we can’t just go back on that. I can’t say I know what you’re going through or went through, but i’m sure you’re not the only one who’s ever felt that way.” A comfortable silence passed over them, like static in the background, the door opened again and a healer scurried in to tend to one of their patients. 

Izuru appreciated his friends words words, although he doubted anyone actually looked up to him, he brushed that little correction aside. “And you?” He asked, curious.

“Yeah. Remember that time when we were all still in the academy? I lead you guys on mission to the world of the living.” 

“I could never forget that day.” Izuru replied, which was true because it was the first time he saw Gin when he was a lieutenant. 

“My entire team died that night and I was the only survivor. I spent the following months after that depressed as fuck, thinking about how weak, how useless I was, that I should have just died with them. I kept living though because I came to terms that what happened, happened. Nothing was my fault.” Shūhei pointed a thumb at himself with a grin, “I’m still here today as you can see,” 

Izuru returned the smile with a small nod, he was touched that his friend shared such a personal story with him. It definitely gave him more insight about Shūhei as a person. The blonde knew that what happened that night had to have been traumatic but he never would have guessed how deeply affected Shūhei was. Every time Izuru saw the older boy in the academy he seemed... normal. Strong, confident and unwavering. He just never showed it. 

“It may not seem like it, but things can get better.” Shūhei added, wanting to end on a positive note.

The two men remained in silence after that until the dark haired reaper spoke up again, this time with a question. “So is that uh, part of your rib cage?” He pointed down at one of the bones sticking out vertically from his open chest. Surprised with the change of topic Izuru looked down to see what his friend was talking about. Izuru’s eyes widened slightly, he was a little miffed because he himself hadn’t noticed. Or more like he never looked, all he knew was that there was a gaping hole in his chest. Within the past seventy-two hours, he did find himself curious but ultimately refused to look down at himself and the gruesomeness of his own body. 

But indeed, as Shūhei pointed out, inside the hole of his body there were a few odd looking ‘bones’ that eerily resembled prison bars. Vertically positioned, they began at his right pectoral down to his abdomen. Izuru decided that having a talk with Captain Kurotsuchi about the procedures that were done on him would need to be a priority.

“Had to stick them somewhere I guess?” The blonde replied with a shrug, he had honestly no idea what they were.

Shūhei must have gotten the hint that the physicality of his injury was a sore topic, he moved on with another query. “Does it hurt?” 

“No... it feels normal but different at the same time, like i’m missing something... well I am. It’s hard to explain.” The blonde admitted sheepishly. 

His friend nodded in understanding and for a while it was silent once again. “How about you?” Izuru asked, as they spoke he had noticed a heavy white bandage peeking out from under the right arm of his rolled sleeves.

“One of the Quincies got me, shot a bullet of spiritual pressure at me. Similarly to you, I was out instantly. One second I was running alongside the other Captains and Lieutenants, the next I was falling face first to the ground.” Shūhei unconsciously rubbed at the area of his wound and exhaled rather loudly, prompting Izuru to glance at the clock above the door entrance. It had only been twenty minutes, yet it felt like they’d been talking for at least an hour.

“It’s not that bad.” Shūhei continued, “I don’t think anyone noticed though, they seemed surprised when I told them.” His voice lowered with disappointment, in which Izuru could agree, that was pretty sad if nobody noticed. 

The dark haired reaper must have felt that time had gotten away from him, he raised his arms up above his head, delicate on the side of his injury, and stretched. “I’d better go, I need to see if my Captains alright. I’ll see you soon.” He rose from the ground silently offering a wave in Izuru’s direction before padding off to the door. His hand was on the door but he hesitated a moment, turning back to the blonde. “I’m glad you’re still alive, Izuru.”

He left without waiting for a response.

A warm sudden warmth erupted inside Izuru at Shūhei’s parting words leaving him dry throated and speechless. He wondered whether he really meant it or not, they were friends though... why wouldn’t he mean it? Not wanting to over-think such a simple gesture, Izuru shook himself internally, grateful for having someone like Shūhei around.

The blonde lieutenant soon realized he needed to get up too and report everything that happened with Aizen to captain Kyouraku, well, head captain Kyouraku now. He still was in denial about the death of Genryusai Yamamoto, others had to have been feeling similarly. The man was the face of the Soul Society, over a thousand years old he had witnessed generation after generation of soul reapers and now... he was dead. 

Truthfully Izuru wasn’t sure he could see anyone else in Yamamoto’s place but somehow he knew Captain Kyouraku would be able to take on the position and become the new face of the Soul Society. 

The blonde Lieutenant got up stiffly, straightening his aching his body into gear. Hopefully the report wouldn’t take too long, it was wishful thinking though, considering what it was about. Because he still felt disgusting from the past three to four day, he was really looking forward to getting home and cleaning up. Nodding to one of the medics on the way out, Izuru set out to the captain commanders office. 

Of course he was received with some concerned looks from a majority of soul reapers on the way and they all appeared to be a hair away from asking if he was alright. The blonde momentarily wondered why before remembering how he looked. Preoccupied by other more important thoughts, he must have forgotten. Izuru ignored the stares anyways and continued on his way. He couldn’t be bothered now.

Of the few minimally damaged buildings that still stood, the captains meeting hall along with the first squad quarters were fortunately among them. Everything else was close to shambles and Izuru knew  
knew they had a long way to go in order to restore the Seireitei to what it once was.

The hallway to the head captains office was empty and the blonde lieutenant berated himself internally for automatically assuming Shunsui would be there, though he hoped that wouldn’t be the case since he was already here. If not then he’d have to come back later, which was fine, at least then he could appear presentable. 

Standing before the door Izuru reached out tentatively to knock but Nanao apparently beat him to it. He swallowed a small grunt in surprise as the door swung open with the new lieutenant of squad one standing in front of him and staring him down in all seriousness. 

“Lieutenant Kira. Is there something I can help you with?” She asked, pushing up her glasses. Composing himself, Izuru bowed his head politely, it was their first time interacting upon her new position. 

“I have something to report to the head captain but if he’s busy I can come back.” 

Nanao turned to Captain Kyouraku who was actually seated at his desk directly behind her. He must have been listening in because he nodded his approval to her with a gentle smile. “I suppose he has some time.” She said, moving aside to let Izuru in. 

“Kira-kun, it’s good to see you.” The blonde entered, bowing and offering respectful greeting. He assumed Shunsui saw the condition of his body through the doorway but like his lieutenant, he neither commented on it nor let his eyes stray. Grateful to them both, it made Izuru feel more... normal. 

“So what brings you here?” Shunsui asked as the lieutenant approached. 

Hesitant to expose something possibly controversial, Izuru shifted his gaze towards Nanao who was still present in the room. His silence didn’t go unnoticed, “Would you like me to leave?” Nanao asked, correctly reading the mood. 

The head captain waved her off. “Stay, Nanao-chan.” He said, shooting her a reassuring glance. Taking the cue to continue, Izuru began to speak, deciding it best to be straightforward, “I talked to Sōsuke Aizen...” The blonde let it sit a moment to read the other mans reaction but his statement must not have been unexpected, Shunsui showed no negative reaction and only leaned forward prompting him to continue. 

“I spoke with him shortly before Ywach arrived but he told me something regarding Gin Ichimaru and his death. Aizen killed him because he tried to kill him and take the Hogyoku. From what he said Ichimaru must have been planning to kill him from the- for a while. He said that he knew it was going to happen.” Izuru quieted for a second, feeling the relief of getting such a burden off his chest as well as commending himself for not sounding too biased or hopefully not at all. “I just don’t know if what he said was true. Aizen isn’t known for being honest.”

As he concluded Izuru got the feeling that it may not have been new information to Shunsui. The older soul reaper only calmly nodded along until the end. A silence enveloped the room and the blonde anxiously began to fidget with his fingers waiting for a response.

Finally the head captain replied. “Well then, I suppose we’ll just have to ask Ichimaru-san himself won’t we?” 

The answer Izuru got seemed to throw him off completely, for the poor lieutenant was only able to open his mouth, close it, and open it again, like a fish out of water. He realized how dumb he must have looked but he had no idea what to say or even think. Izuru was at a complete loss of words.

Gin Ichimaru, alive? It didn’t make sense, Ichigo Kurosaki was a viable witness who assured he was dead and Rangiku too. He couldn’t just suddenly be alive. This was the man who betrayed him. Them. This was the man who had constantly toyed with his mind, body, and feelings. The man who still plagued the deepest parts of his conscience. It was unfair. He was alive and Izuru didn’t know how to feel. Resentment and anger is what he should have felt, which he did but at the moment he felt neither of those. What he felt was much worse and so wrong. 

_Eager_

“What?” Said Izuru. With his head swimming in though, it was the only thing he could get out. 

“So you don’t know then.” The way Shunsui spoke made it seem like more of a statement than a question. If Izuru wasn’t already sweating he was now. What happened? Did the head captain suspect him of something? Did they think he had been in contact with Gin or even worse, did they think he had been in cahoots with Gin? It would make sense if they thought he knew, being his lieutenant or more likely because he was the only person who didn’t hate him. Everyone knew it.

Izuru’s neck began to heat up from the anticipation of what the man had to say next. “There was a possibility that you knew he was alive, I just wanted to make sure.” Shunsui’s tone completely changed, from grave to consoling, making it sound like he was no longer a ‘suspect’ but the blonde knew he probably wasn’t out of the clear yet. Izuru wanted to reaffirm that he was completely oblivious to the fact that Gin was alive but he kept his mouth shut knowing that instant denial may make him look guilty no matter his honesty.

Shunsui knew the next question asked would be ‘how?’ so before Izuru could ask, he continued. “Ikakku and Yumichika were here not long before you. The short version is that apparently Captain Kurotsuchi has been _experimenting_ with the dead. They witnessed the fight between Mayuri and the Quincy Giselle, who was able to turn dead soul reapers and into his own zombies. Mayuri must have brought back the deceased Arrancar from Hueco Mundo on his own terms because they showed up and fought on his behalf, along with Ichimaru.” It seemed the long-haired captain got the most important information out but Izuru could feel beads of sweat continue to slide down various areas of his body as he waited for the man to continue.

“Under normal circumstances I’d be a bit more... shocked? I suppose is the word, but with everything that’s just happened Ichimaru is the least of my worries right now. That and the fact that he’s under Captain Kurotsuchi’s _care_.” Shunsui mindlessly adjusted his hat letting a few more seconds drag out before turning to Izuru once again.

“I don’t know what to say.” The blonde admitted honestly. It was a lot to take in, for him at least. What he really wanted to ask was, ‘where is he now?’ and ‘what’s going to happen to him?’ but he kept those questions to himself knowing that now obviously wasn’t an appropriate time to ask.

Izuru had almost forgotten that Nanao had been present the entire time. He only remembered when her movements could be heard opening the office doors to greet another visitor. Both men turned to see Mayuri Kurotsuchi standing in the doorway exchanging hushed and emphatic words, respectively, with Nanao looking already somewhat peeved. 

Shunsui nodded over to Nanao giving her the okay as he had done for Izuru and the blonde lieutenant took this as his cue to leave. “Kira-kun, I’d appreciate it if you kept this discussion to yourself for now. There’s so much turmoil as it is, best not add fuel to the fire.” The man added kindly and Izuru nodded in earnest. He was very understanding of the situation already and didn’t need to be told. 

“Of course, you have my word!” Promised Izuru. He backed away bowing to Shunsui and thanking him as he did so. He could hear an exasperated, ‘wish me luck’ being muttered from behind him. 

Izuru brushed past Mayuri on his way out as the said captain all but stormed in. Presumably angry about being pulled away from his work. _Wish me luck_ indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it wasn’t too boring. I also got the idea of Izuru and Aizen meeting up from Tekking101 on YT.


	5. memory lane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we’re getting there slowly

**Post WW**

It was summer now.

Rangiku was back at Gin’s small gravesite but this time she wasn’t alone. Izuru was with her. 

The truth was that she felt a little guilty about not telling the him. She originally wanted their shack to be for her and only her. Being the only two people who had some form of a relationship with the silver haired man, it was only natural for them to talk about him and reminisce together. Through Gin, they grew to understand eachother as close friends and that’s why Rangiku decided he should know. 

So there they stood next to eachother looking down at small stone that read, _Gin Ichimaru_. It still looked kept and pristine thanks to Rangiku’s care, she visited almost every week. 

Suddenly the busty woman plopped down next to the stone with a huff, leaning up against the persimmon tree. The action startled Izuru who was already feeling a bit awkward, unsure of what to say. He sat down against the other side of the tree after receiving a look from Rangiku, she wanted him to relax. 

“When we were little... Gin and I used to live in that shack over there,” She pointed to her left where it stood and Izuru’s curious eyes followed. It wasn’t far but from what he could see, it looked like any other Rukongai shack. 

“I assume you already know that he loved dried persimmons, this was his favorite tree.” Izuru hummed knowingly, recalling the love his captain had for the dried fruit. In fact, one of his earliest memories as a lieutenant was helping Gin plant a number of persimmon trees around their squads offices. 

“Think I picked a good spot for it?”

Though she couldn’t see him the blonde nodded. “It’s... perfect.” He replied in genuine.

While it was true that Rangiku thought Izuru should know of Gin’s resting place, there was something else she wanted to know from him. It was something she’d speculated about a lot throughout the decades. 

What was the relationship between Gin and his lieutenant?

Rangiku knew for a fact she wasn’t the only one who noticed that something odd was going on behind closed doors. She remembered Izuru before he was lieutenant, a friend of Shūhei. Even back then they drank together, albeit less occasionally. That was one thing she was glad they never stopped doing. The blonde boy was still a member of squad four, fourth seat to be exact. She didn’t know him personally then, but he seemed to be fairly outgoing, a hell of a lot more carefree, and dare she say there was even a touch of confidence. 

Shocking as it was, ‘arrogant’ was one of the words Shūhei used to describe Izuru in their academy days. Izuru? Arrogant? The thought was enough to make Rangiku laugh outloud, she just couldn’t see it. There was a fire in his eyes though, like he wanted something out of his life or that he had a goal. 

Then he became lieutenant of squad three. 

The change in him wasn’t immediate but subtle. By her idea of course, all the lieutenants threw him a party, giving him their warmest of welcomes and congratulations for achieving such a commendable rank. Gin even stopped by to offer a small word of praise. 

Izuru looked so happy that day. 

He took his role as lieutenant in stride. Diligent with his work and always meeting the deadlines, even ahead of time, he was an overachiever after all. He had remarkable patience, compassion, and was always understanding which stood out the most when training the other members. 

The most important thing to note though, was that he appeared to remain unbothered by the ominous captain. In fact the blonde lieutenant would heed every word that came out of Gin’s mouth, catering to almost every single one his whims which only grew more ridiculous and random as time went on. Covering the silver haired captain’s share of paperwork was only the beginning. Izuru bent over backwards for the man, figurative and quite possibly literally. 

While that was all said and done, Izuru was still not a leader. Anyone could clearly see his struggle to command his squad. They respected him but it just wasn’t enough. Perhaps they saw him more as a friend than a superior, many of times the boy’s kindness would be taken advantage of. His reserved, almost passive demeanor lead to insubordination and many squad members thought they could get off easily, and in a way they did. Izuru was left with little choice but to bring the hammer down on the troublesome members which was easier said than done. There was always a certain ambivalence in his words or actions that was easily picked up by the ones taking the heat. Insubordination had to be dealt with but it was clear he hated it, having to be the one to deliver the punishment. The captain almost predictably had no part in it, forcing Izuru to handle the dirty work on his behalf. 

It was safe to say that Izuru ran the third. Gin only wore the coat. 

He was getting away with murder. 

It was obvious the blonde lieutenant was troubled about how things were starting to turn out but he carried on as normally as he could. 

Year after year passed.

Eventually he began to wear down. While his duties as a lieutenant were never neglected or anything less, the real victim of neglect was himself. He smiled less and less, his mouth now resembled a firm line or even a grimace. He stopped cutting his hair short, now it was a mop of blonde hair, a part of which completely obscured his left eye from sight. Dark circles and eye bags became a not so uncommon look on him. As a lesser noble he had been taught to have pride, stand up straight, no slouching. Apparently that mattered not, he developed quite a slouch. When spoken to, he sounded permanently tired, like he hadn’t slept in decades or like he wasn’t even there. 

It was like he just gave up mentally. 

What was going on behind closed doors?

Most of what Rangiku knew was from observation of course, but the actual context was handed to her on a platter during their drinking sessions. When drunk the blonde would often over share whatever crossed his mind. 

The first few times it happened Rangiku was in the process of getting completely wasted and could only remember fragments of his drunken rants. It was about the fourth time they got together when the busty lieutenant made an effort to stay partially sober, she wanted to listen in on him. In doing this she found out that the reason he was so weak at handling misconduct. 

He didn’t want the squad to dislike him. 

Rangiku didn’t make an effort staying clear headed every time they drunk together, it wasn’t everyday she was able to get face down smashed. But when she did, she was able to learn more about both Izuru and Gin. Some of which, she probably shouldn’t have known. 

Izuru continued to ghost about his life, not without worrying his friends of course. Though whenever asked if he was doing alright, he’d either plaster a smile on and say it’s alright or brush it off, as if nothing was wrong.

He hit his lowest after the betrayal. 

Rangiku couldn’t blame him at all though. What they discovered was truly scarring. The kid found out that ever since _that_ mission Renji, Momo, and himself had all been handpicked by Aizen. The perfect puppets. 

Izuru confessed his thoughts about it several drinking sessions after the event saying that while he may be skilled, it didn’t change the fact that everything was still according to Aizen, his name as a lieutenant was a farce. 

Now, after everything, he seemed like he was finally doing better. She hoped he was. 

And this was why she was unsure of how to kindle the conversation. It was cruel of her, after all his progress she wanted to open the wound again. Though it could also be considered as another step of healing. You haven’t completely gotten over something unless you were willing to talk about it. 

Only recently had Rangiku gotten over Gin herself. But she had a friend like Nanao whom she felt comfortable enough to trust and confide in. Who did Izuru have?

The busty woman wasn’t one to overthink a decision too hard, so she just decided to go for it. “What was Gin to you?” 

It was quiet for a while as Izuru searched for a neutral response. “I don’t know...” He said slowly. “The first time I saw him was when he saved Momo, Renji, Shuhei, and I from a hollow attack. You heard this story before haven’t you?”

Rangiku ‘mhhmm-ed’ in acknowledgment, eager for him to continue. “Well that moment stuck with me. Everyone else thought Aizen was so cool, but Gin... I thought he was the cool one. I never got a chance to speak with him the rest of my academy days, or even when I officially became a soul reaper. I did see him around a lot, though he never noticed me. When he became captain, I knew that I wanted to be in his squad, maybe even as his lieutenant.” He paused a moment before adding, “It was wishful thinking on my part since I was at the time in squad four.”

_For some reason there had always been a lack of respect for healers and squad four in general. Just because they’re not out in the battlefield, shedding the blood of enemies didn’t mean they were completely useless._

_Who did they think were going to help them every time they get a limb sliced off? The stigma made him doubt his skills, and Izuru knew be couldn’t stay. He trained by himself everyday until he felt ready to request a transfer. Captain Unohana was surprisingly agreeable to the proposal, she signed on immediately and wished him luck._

_Finally, he made it into the squad of his dreams. There was an orientation for the new members, Gin was there. He greeted everyone and creeped out most of the young members without fail. It was also then when he noticed Izuru, but it was only because he was in the front lines of the crowd._

_At the end of it all, he noticed Izuru, even approached him._

_“What’s yer name?”_

_“I-Izuru Kira, sir!”_

_The squad was still absent a lieutenant._

_“Ain’t you a cute little thing. How would you like to be my new lieutenant?”_

_“...”_

_“I-I don’t understand-“_

_“relax I’m just kiddin”_

_He couldn’t fanthom what had happened, more or less find any words to respond with._

_“Welcome to the third, Izuru.”_

_He was unlike any person Izuru had ever met. The blonde was fascinated by him, yet he managed to scared the hell out of him at the same time. It was maddening. Gin was the embodiment of a double edged sword, but Izuru was still drawn to him like a moth to the candle light._

_Eventually Izuru actually did become the lieutenant. He went on without knowing if Gin really was joking or not that day, well, after what he knew now, it’s clear that he was._

_As lieutenant, Izuru was around his captain most of the day. Gin’s constant ‘smile’ had begun to unnerve him and he sometimes had paranoia because of it. It felt like he was going to do something to him, he didn’t necessarily know what, but it could’ve been at any given moment. Additionally, Izuru was teased quite frequently which was mostly harmless, but sometimes his words were just cruel. Izuru don’t know why, but he never said anything about it, he couldn’t bring himself to._

“It scared me because I eventually started to get used to it... like it. I looked forward to whatever little comments he might throw at me because it thrilled me and he knew.”

_Oh god he knew..._

“The paranoia never left me.”

_“Am I botherin’ you Izuru?”_

_“No sir”_

_“ya sure?”_

_“...”_

“Even with all that he was kind to me and I knew he was a good person behind all his teasing and that god forsaken smile. I thought he was a decent person. Maybe even a good one. Nobody else seemed to think so, everyone thought he was a freak. It made me think I was the only one there for him, who could... understand him. I wanted to be there for him.”

_“You know what they’re sayin’ about me Izuru?”_

_“No...”_

_“Liar”_

_“I don’t care about what they say about you captain. I think you’re a good person...”_

_“My, that’s probably the nicest thing anyone’s ever said ‘bout me before,”_

_“...”_

_“but, I ain’t a good person. Don’t go start believin’ it.”_

“I should have been afraid of him after that. Instead I became more taken with him, I never stopped looking up to him. I continued to belive my own words, thinking he said that just to scare me off. I know now that he was telling the truth.”

_Izuru was persistent with his intentions. Gin knew what his lieutenant wanted._

_One day the silver haired captain finally gave in. They started sleeping together, Gin would show up in Izuru’s quarters announced or unannounced it didn’t matter. There was nothing tender about their little rendezvouses, it was just an escape outlet for their bodily needs. Gin never treated him any differently, still teased, still did as little work as possible and passed the rest onto him._

“He never liked me in that way, he was probably just using me, but I didn’t care.” Izuru sighed deeply, concluding the end of his partial life story. 

_I thought maybe I meant something to him._

“You know the rest. And I know what everyone said about him, me... us. He never did anything to me or forced me to do anything I never wanted to... well not to the degree of treason. I was willing.”

_I was loyal. I was obedient. I would have have done anything for him._

He was referring to the ryoka invasion.

Rangiku was left speechless at how Izuru just poured his heart out. No wonder why he had changed so drastically after being appointed lieutenant. It definitely wasn’t what she expected. Clearly they had been in a relationship... but just as it was one sided on Izurus’ part. She didn’t really know how to feel about that.

Should she be upset? Jealous? She didn’t know. Neither of those emotions would be right at a time like his, her friend was spilling his heart out to her. 

It wasn’t as if her and Gin were still in a relationship at the time either. Then again, nothing about their relationship was ever official. It’s like they had always been together they didn’t need words to establish their relationship. They wouldn’t need any words to end it either. Still, did Gin really throw her aside for Izuru? Was she not good enough for him? What did he see in Izuru that she didn’t have, besides not being a man, but she doubted that was it. 

All that had been going on. Nobody knew. It sounded like a severe case of Stockholm syndrome or something else deeply psychological and Rangiku wasn’t how to really comfort him. 

Any ordinary person who ran into Gin or exchanged a few words with him automatically had their own assumptions and thoughts about him. Some more brazen to voice their thoughts and spread gossip around about him.

It surprised her how different his viewpoint of Gin was next to hers. Rangiku grew up with him and knew what kind of person he was. She never looked at him any differently even when he stopped talking to her, and his smile, which once conveyed innocence and mischief morphed into sinister mockery

Gossip about Gin meant nothing to her. She knew them all to be false. Some lies more believable than others, sometimes she would give them the benefit of the doubt and try to understand where they were coming from. She never could though. 

She would always see him as a friend. 

A lover. 

Whereas Izuru’s loyalty spoke the loudest: A crush which grew into an obsession. 

She remembered that day. Aizen’s ‘dead’ body, caked blood running down the wall. 

Momo tried to attack Gin and Izuru was at his immediate defense. They started screaming at eachother, swords clashed with that crazed look reflected in both their eyes.

Loyalty was honorable, yet twisted in a way. 

Silent Rangiku wondered what she could possibly say to him. 

“You remind me of him sometimes.” 

“How do you mean?” 

“Mostly when you joke around or tease me.” He confessed, wistful. She couldn’t see him but a light smile graced his lips. 

Still confused where the direction of the conversation was headed, Rangiku let out a none too bright sounding ‘Oh’.

They both liked to joke around, Gin more so than her. Perhaps he had rubbed off on her.

After a comfortable pause, he asked, “How about you?”

So she told him. She told him everything. 

It was ironic, the both of them were having such a deep discussion about Gin at his ‘burial’. The day Izuru apologized to her they went out drinking, Gin eventually became the topic of discussion instead about how they didn’t need him. Yet neither of them disclosed the role of significance he had in their lives. 

Izuru was his lieutenant.

Rangiku was a childhood friend.

She looked up at the persimmon tree. It was nearly spring, soon the fruits would be back and fresh for the picking. 

Back down to the burial. 

She had nothing from him to bury. 

He left nothing.

“I have nothing to bury in his place,” Rangiku admitted sadly, “He left nothing behind.”

“Actually I have something.” Izuru said, letting himself up and dusting off the backside of his uniform. 

Her eyes widened and peeked around the tree at her friend. “Really? What is it?” She wondered what Izuru could possibly have...

“An old captains haori of his.”

That wasn’t possible. “How? Squad two raided his quarters the day he left. Everything was confiscated and burned.” 

“Well, its another story. Let me get it, then I’ll tell you.” 

“Alright.”

_tik tak tik tik tak tak tik_

_Raindrops fell heavily upon the roof of the office, loud but not quite distracting. Izuru worked away busily completing the paperwork a certain someone — who was sleeping at his desk at the moment — never finished. By now he could convincingly forge Gins’ signature but it would never be perfect next to the mans haphazard scrawl._

_Just a few more and everything would be finished._

_Many of times his captain would pretend to be sleeping. The silver haired man certainly enjoyed getting a rise out of him. More than a few times Izuru went to place completed paperwork on his captains desk, always careful not to disturb him, the man would grab his wrist and either thank him or make a lewd comment. To which a distressed Izuru would either mutter, ‘you’re welcome’, and get the hell away, or give a half-assed, ‘that’s not appropriate sir’, and then get the hell away._

_Gin got the last laugh either way._

_Izuru wearily set the papers on his captains desk expecting at any moment, for long pale digits to suddenly seize him._

_It never happened. The blonde lieutenant let out a small sigh of relief and backed away to his desk hastily. A few moments passed when a sudden pang of shame hit him, he sighed from disappointment. Not relief. Something was wrong with him. Maybe he really was a masochist..._

_Suddenly Gin shot up from his ‘slumber’ and flashed-stepped to the window._

_It was still raining._

_“Ah damn it, my persimmons probably got all soggy.”_

_Right. His captain had planted a permission tree in front of the office a while back and unlike the paperwork, he took extraordinary care of it. Gin must have set them out to dry and being asleep, didn’t pick them back up._

_Izuru hated persimmons._

_“Captain there’s still more growing...” He tried._

_“But then I gotta wait for them to ripen.” Gin didn’t look at him and instead began to open the window. “Ya know I don’t like to wait.” It happened so fast. One moment the silver haired man was looking out at his soggy permissions through the window, the next it was open and he was leaping out from said window._

_“C-Captain! Wait!”_

_Izuru dashed to the window Gin had just disappeared out. The neat stack of papers he had just completed fluttered to the floor in the process. Great. He peered outside where he easily spotted the other man. His captain was crouched down gathering all his permissions. Izuru wondered if they really were that important._

_With a defeated sigh the blonde lieutenant headed outside to assist his captain. He hurried down the stairs and out the door, as a normal person would, into the pouring rain._

_The water pelted down upon Izuru as he dashed out to meet Gin. Unfortunately his shihakusho was completely drenched before he made there._

_His captain was crouched down over the grass hastily gathering his ruined persimmons. He looked like a drowned fox. Like Izuru, his clothes were thoroughly saturated from the rain. The ends of the white haori were now brown and dirtied from contact with the ground and his silver hair was darkened, wet and clinging to his face. The man paid no mind._

_Izuru helped pick up the last few and Gin looked up at him with unhidden surprise upon his face._

_“Izuru? Ya came out here for me?”_

_“Of course. It’s my duty to help you.”_

_Gin exhaled long and exasperated. “Yer bullshittin’.”_

_“Maybe.” A jaded smile ghosted his Izuru’s lips. He was. Sometimes he liked to play the game too, in his favor though._

_His captain chuckled smiling — always smiling — and rose from the grass with his arms full of wasted persimmons. “C’mon get inside, yer drippin’ wet.” He started back towards the door and Izuru followed. The blonde was thankful his captains back was facing him, a generous blush heated his face at the words that were used, the way he said it made sent tingles down his body. An innuendo? Knowing Gin he did it on purpose._

_Once inside, the soggy fruits were regrettably tossed into the trash. It wasn’t cold out at all but the wet clothes which clung to Izuru’s body were._

_Gin told him to go home and change his clothes, he would be doing the same. Izuru agreed wholeheartedly. Except something caught his attention, he glanced down at browned ends of his captains haori._

_“Captain!” He swallowed his stutter. “Would you like me to wash your haori? It’s a bit brown at the ends.” The words flew from Izuru’s mouth before he could reevaluate how cringy his request was._

_“Nah, I got more of em’. It ain’t that bad anyway.” Gin replied, craning his neck back behind himself to assess the lack of cleanliness in his uniform._

_Izuru visibly sunk._

_He then turned to eye his lieutenant in question. Surely Izuru didn’t think him incapable of doing his own laundry, then again, the boy did like to coddle him an awful lot. A small chuckle escaped him. Well things were going to change soon, perhaps he would leave his little Izuru something to go by._

_“But, if ya really wanna, then knock yerself out.” Backtracking towards the lieutenant, Gin slipped the wet haori off handing it to him. Shocked that the other man had conceded so easily, Izuru accepted the haori hastily._

_“And Izuru,” Gin drawled, leaning down ear-level with his subordinate, causing the shorter to shudder. “I’ll be expectin’ it back good as new.” With that the silver haired man swept away leaving a scandalized Izuru behind. Trembling, the blonde ghosted a hand over his ear. The inviting warmth of his captains breathe could still be felt upon the shell of his ear._

Izuru arrived at his house shortly. Once inside, he made a beeline to his room, then closet, and rummaged around inside. Hidden inside the deepest section of his closet behind the countless identical soul reaper uniforms, was an all too familiar white haori. 

Hesitant, Izuru reached for it.

There was nobody inside his house beside himself, but somehow Izuru began to feel paranoid. What if he got caught? He would be arrested and charged of treason or something of the sort no doubt. 

The blonde lieutenant held the haori up, it was terribly wrinkled, and for reasons, the garnet was inside out. May as well leave it like that for now, he thought. He didn’t want to keep Rangiku waiting too long. Izuru left as quickly as he came, the haori compressed to a ball tightly in one hand. 

The figure of his friend came into sight as Izuru approached the hut. Luckily he hadn’t run into anyone, he didn’t have an excuse thought up yet for the occasion. If asked, he would of had to think one up on the spot which would both look and sound suspicious. 

“That was quick.” Rangiku commented. She curiously eyed whatever it was the blonde held in his hand. 

“It’s not much..” Izuru murmured, handing the white bundle of fabric to her. 

“I’ll decide on that.” Rangiku smiled lightly taking it from Izuru. It was light and it didn’t seem like there was anything inside, so Rangiku wasted no time fanning the fabric out before her letting it catch the air. 

Her jaw dropped.

In her hands was Gin’s old captain haori. No words were able to describe her emotional state, instead she gripped it tightly in her hands, as if it were to dissolve from her hold. 

It was inside out. Easily, Rangiku turned it right sided so the ensignma was visibly facing outward. It was dirty and frayed a bit at the bottom, but she didn’t care. Izuru was going to think she was a weirdo but the strawberry blonde soon forgot about his judgements as she was unable to stop herself, bringing the haori to her face and inhaling the scent. Truthfully, she didn’t really expect to smell him, but surprisingly his scent could be made out, as faint as it was. She couldn’t put a finger on what exactly the smell was but it was just... him.

Unbeknownst to her, Izuru had done the exact same thing the night of the betrayal. And several other shameless occasions.

“Izuru... how did you manage to keep this?” 

“W-Well it’s a bit of a story...” He trailed off unsure if Rangiku would be willing to listen or not. 

She waved him off. 

“I’ve got the rest of the day.” 

Rangiku sighed, nostalgic. “That’s so like him, but I’m kind of glad it turned out like that. Shall we bury it?”

Izuru could only agree.

“I want it to be preserved though, preferably not in the dirt.” She hurriedly handed the haori back to Izuru. “Be right back!” The busty woman disappeared the way he came from just a few minutes ago. 

Standing there, Izuru was unsure if he would be able to have a look inside the old shack before Rangiku got back. He felt honored to be here, at the place where Gin grew up, but at the same time he felt a sense of wrongness, as if he shouldn’t be here. Being here probably wouldn’t give him anything personally, but Izuru wanted to know more. Curiously won eventually and soon enough he was standing at its front and placed an unsure foot on the wooden steps of the entrance.

Rangiku returned a few minutes later, a standard sized white box in her hands. Various colored koi danced around the exterior of it.

“I’m back!” She called out. Izuru wasn’t in sight but she sensed his spiritual pressure coming from inside the shack. 

She popped her head curiously inside the small structure. Izuru was standing there, unmoving. He faced the small chimney. Rangiku wondered what he was looking at had a small rodent made its home there? 

Slightly concerned, she called out to him. “Izuru? Are you alright?” The blonde seemed to have been in a trance, he seemed surprised by her. 

“Y-Yeah.. Sorry I’m fine.” Izuru shrugged it off giving Rangiku a weak smile of reassurance. It did the opposite though and the woman raised a brow at him. 

“I know you’ve already told me a lot about what’s been going on with you, but if you need to let anything else out I’ll be here for you and willing to lend an ear.”

Izuru wasn’t used to hearing such words, the results left him a little flustered. “Rangiku-san... I- Thank you...”

“That’s what friends are for Izuru.” He was suddenly encircled by the other woman’s arms — and large breasts — as she brought him into a tender hug. He was abnormally thin, but she knew it wasn’t the time or place to chastise the man about his health. She wished he would take better care of himself. 

Rangiku kept their embrace going a bit longer than a normal one should last, but it was an emotional experience for both of them and they both needed it. She didn’t really know what came over her in the momen, but sometimes words of support weren’t the only things a person needed. Sometimes a person needed emotional comfort in a physical aspect.

Seconds passed when she finally felt Izuru respond to her. His arms hesitantly returning her embrace. Minutes of straight silence passed and they both stayed just like that. 

Rangiku was the one to withdraw first. They had both done enough moping for an entire division. Izuru still looked quite somber so it would be up to her to change the mood. This time she embraced her ability as a mood maker.

The busty woman gestured to the box which she still held. “When we still lived here, Gin gave me this box,” Rangiku smiled. Genuine. “He always liked to surprised me, and when I opened it, I was so surprised! Maybe you can guess what it was. It was gorgeous and warmed my heart, but more importantly, it had to have been expensive. We were very poor, I knew he must have saved up an arm and a leg for it.” She fiddled with end of her scarf, looking down at it lovingly. “At first I rejected it because the money he spent on something so luxurious could have been used to feed us another day, but he was stubborn and insisted I keep it. It wasn’t up for debate, so I kept it, and I’m glad...”

Izuru chuckled, “He sounds the same, even when he was a kid.”

Rangiku nodded enthusiastically. “It’s true! He’s actually always been the same in that sense.”

“Sorry I guess I got sidetracked...” She touched her the pendant of her necklace sheepishly. “Let’s go and bury it now!”

Rangiku bounded off towards the tree with Izuru only a step behind.

Together they buried the box which contained the still unwashed haori and when the job was done they sat together, backs once again against the tree-trunk.

“Rangiku-san...” 

“Hmm?”

“May I ask... Will you tell me a story about him, when you lived here?”

That wouldn’t be such a bad idea, she thought. A trip down memory lane. “I have so many though.” She whined.

“Don’t worry, I have the rest of the day too.” Izuru teasingly threw out her words from earlier, with a rare cocky smile.

She giggled. “Alright, let me think of one of the good ones.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter of Izuru focus. Istg there’s an actual Ginran interaction next.


End file.
